Friday, February 20, 2009
this picture took my breath away. i so so wanna go to alaska.
sorry dear i'm so blur.. and last minute too...
sudden urge to start blogging..
had many things to say, but somehow i forgot everything..
been spending a lot of money amending flights, booking flights, booking shuttles and stuff.. i guess its a learning experience.. to finally plan my own trip for once.. haha previously, my darling friends have always been the ones planning everything, buying tickets, settling accomodation etc, but now i have to do everything on my own.. steep learning curve! and the monetary price for my ignorance is rather significant.. and i guess i realised i have been assuming many many things! kept thinking that US is like singapore, u can reach anywhere with cabs within 1 hour.. and cabs are not that easily available.. imagine my shock when i realised that the time taken to travel from the airport to the bus terminal is 2 hours...
and committed other booboos like booking a flight leaving at 6am, such an unearthly hour.. on retrospect, it was totally brainless of me.. it takes 4 hours to travel from the university (i totally did not expect that.. i thought it wld only take 1 hour) and i gotta check in 1 hour before the plane departs.. so... i gotta leave the hostel in the blistering cold and eerie darkness at 1am? its really amusing. and so to change the flight, i have to pay a sum that is only slightly lower than the airfare itself. blame it on my own stupidity. wells. i can only console myself that at least i learnt something..
i'm scared to travel alone. foreign land, foreign accent, foreign faces, foreign weather (snow! -14 deg cel!!! UGHHH), foreign food, foreign routine, foreign time, foreign bed, friendLESS, foreign everything. makes me super scared to think of it. but at the same time, i know God is giving me a rare opportunity to learn to be independent, and i hope that with God's grace, i will be inspired, whatever aspect it might be..
sigh. the world is kinda sad.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
finally! year 3 is over. ended with quite a bad paeds end of posting test. but still, its over. hooray!!!
i felt this tremendous sense of relief and a sort of bliss as i cleared my cluttered table of all things paeds.. its such a great feeling!!!! it makes me shudder to think of how long i had been slogging at the table studying till the wee hours of the morning during the last week.. i guess i kind of deserve it, cos i had been too slack during the rest of the posting, hence i had to make a desperate attempt to get some things into the squishy thing in my skull that kind of resembles a brain haha. but i guess i might as well have slept cos the studying didn't really help much except to make me a little spaced out on the day of the test, as well as feel cheated because it didn't help. you might say 'its for the long run', but seriously, how much of these info can i retain after the ravages of time?
and... i felt so great going out with yan that night.. finally seeing him after almost 1 week.. and it was especially exhilarating when it suddenly dawned on me that i didn't have to study when i get home! i have not had this kind of feeling for SO LONG!! its a tremendous relief, as well as release.. and i'm loving every minute and every second of this much-needed (tho might not be well-deserved in my case) break.
it feels kinda surreal that i am going to bali, for 10 days.. i cant believe its finally here! but packing is such a chore.. haha. woohoo! this trip is gonna be so fun! great company, lots of sun (i hope) sand, salt water, hot babes, cute hunks (but the ultimate cutest hunk remains in singapore).. i guess i was kinda worried at first about terrorist attacks, tsunamis, earthquakes.. but i figured that there's no point worrying so much because everything is in Lord's hands, and i know everything happens for a reason. so come what may, it will be for the best! it might actually be a life-changing experience to be caught in the middle of all these action. to be there first hand, to know, to feel, to finally understand, and maybe find a newer, more meaningful direction in life (if i live to tell the tale that is) haha.
sex and the city absolutely rocks! i loved it. it didn't fall short of my expectations, in fact, it exceeded my expectations.. its such a great feeling to see the 4 girls reunited, each facing problems in their lives, and then coming to a resolution and emerging stronger, happier, and wiser. i was bowled over by their friendship, and needless to say, the va-va-voom fashion and hip uptown culture. i looove losing myself in their world. and what made things even better was that yan enjoyed it too! :) *girls, we'll be like that right?*
and heys, UNCLE LESSTER going to be featured on TV!
programme: Find me a Singaporean, hosted by Belinda Lee
Time: 4th June, Wednesday, 8pm, Channel U
Belinda Lee visited UL in Uganda for 10 days and i think this travel documentary is going to show us how UL is living and working in africa. i am absolutely excited to watch it, because i really really want to know wad UL is doing with the bees in africa!
just gonna end this post with a few pictures taken during my mum's humble bday celebration:
the 1.9kg blueberry cake from secret recipe.
with 18 candles...! :)
my cute little sister
my father in a VERY VERY RARE kodak moment of affection. i love this picture.
the picture which makes me smile Monday, May 26, 2008
sorry yan, i just have to post this pic cos it makes me laugh everytime i look at it :) i left out the right side of the pic tho'!
Friday, May 23, 2008
indeed, joy multiplies when shared
and pain lessens when you finally let it out into the open
the brief conversation that eugene and i had about the 5 languages of love came across my mind today..
the 5 languages of love are :
1) words of affirmation
2) quality time
3) receiving gifts
4) acts of service
5) physical touch
(http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/learn.html)
everyone speaks all 5 languages, but for everyone, there's 1 language which speaks the loudest, that's when u feel especially loved..
haha i asked my mum which is her language.. i think her's number 1.
and i think i am kinda greedy, i can't decide, so i think mine's both 1 and 2. and after taking a quiz on http://greaterquest.com/LoveLanguages.asp, yes, its indeed 1 and 2.. haha.
thoughts for the day:
Forget about your feelings. You do not have to feel anything to love your spouse. Feelings may change because of your actions, but feelings should not dictate your actions. Choose to love your mate, no matter how you feel.
Do not allow your mate’s reaction to stifle your love. Nothing your mate does can stop your love as long as you choose to love. Why stop when love is your greatest weapon for good and growth?
hear the cries of those in pain... Wednesday, May 21, 2008
it is inevitable to come across pain, misery and illness when you are in the hospital most of the time, but what strikes me most is the courage of those who are afflicted by these conditions, especially the chronic illnesses..
i see resilience in the mother who takes care of her little boy with leukemia.
i see her willingness to do anything for her little boy, as long as he gets better.
i can see the weariness in her eyes, i wonder if she questions 'why'..
i know she feels pain, but she chose to ignore it, just so she can be strong for her little boy..
and i know he feels pain too, pained because his family has to go through all these for him..
i see the nobleness of the mother who chose to give up everything else in her life, so that she can centre it around her little boy with down's..
all the extra effort she has to put in, just so that her boy can walk, can dress properly, can feed himself with a spoon.. training him repetitively for 3 years everyday just so that he can take a bus to school.. accompanying him tirelessly to rehabilitation so that she can hear him say'ma'.. all those things we take for granted..
i am deeply touched by all the sacrifices that the parents make just to take care of their children.
and i am only looking at the tip of the iceberg...
as i stood in the day therapy centre today, i wondered what i will do if such a thing happens to me.. will i have the courage to face up to it? will i be strong enough to take care of my child? will i be strong enough to accept all the changes in my life? will i become depressed and resentful? will i be bitter and keep questioning 'why'? ... and i just wanted to cry..
and i wonder how my life will be, if someone in my family was chronically ill.. will my dad still be the person he is right now? will he still be so caught up in his rat race? or will he realise that there is actually more to life than money? will he be more gentle and caring towards those around him? and will i be the same uncaring person i am still?
yan rong told me that we humans will never know the real pains of those around us, because all of us put on this false front of happiness, trying to be brave and strong.. only God hears their cries, and God shows that he cares, by putting people who really do care in the lives of those who are pained. i hope i will be able to bring comfort to someone someday. having lived your life knowing that u have made a difference to someone else's life, even if it is just one person, is already meaningful enough..
i feel deeply for those suffering in myanmar and china.. i hope they will feel God's presence and love with them admidst all the pain and suffering..
and i hope that we, the luckier ones, will learn to cherish and be contented with the things we already have.. because what we take for granted, many others have to fight very hard in order to have..
may God let us hear the cries of those in pain, so that they can lean on us for love and support.
my blog is up and running again!! Sunday, May 18, 2008
decided to be more hardworking in terms of blogging..
wanna say a big hello to uncle lesster!!!
thanks sososo much for helping me with the electives! i really really carn wait to see u on tv!!!
been spending time with people who matter...
my dearest doctor yong who just started work and who makes my heart ache whenever i see him so tired
i stupidly forgot to take a group picture during the "surprise bday gathering" at oosh.. only managed to take 1 shot haha.. 
nice dinner @ villa baliiiiii
my dearest dearest dearest girls mich, bx and hp.. of cos missing jess and jamie and betty and ness.. i love all of u girls. i had a fantastic time catching up with all of u.. getting updated.. babbling nonsense.. listening to how natalie portman seduces people.. and how teeth can grow in uncanny places and bite certain things off.. life will never be the same without u gals :)
@waraku
@ some atas dessert place in Central.. look at the decadent cakes! dun be jealous jess :P
and not forgetting my isotope whom i have not seen in a thousand years and yet still look the same even tho he claims to have put on a few kg. i still owe u ur email!! sorry!!
not forgetting my medicine girls darling shera and wenphei.. really enjoyed cycling and sweating with u gurls.. hope ortho has been fun!!
candice's surprise 22nd bday party, organized by her sweet bf zongxian.. the ice-cream cake was wonderful!!!!
:) not forgetting time with my cg mates eugene and ibrahim, who make medicine more tolerable with all their nonsense and crazy talk haha.
especially for me, a sign of increasing maturity is when i start to realise that there is more to life than just studying, and when i actually do something about it.
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
halos peeps.. wonder who still reads my blog..
been more than 1 month since i updated.. haha i sincerely apologize..
been having exams..
and i realise i really miss my frens.. esp those whom i do not get to see so often..
we celebrated bra's bday yesterday.. great to see him happy! its good that we're finally doing sth for him, cos its always been v slipshod when it comes to his bday.. haha.. gave him an optimus prime! (is tt how u spell it haha)
its finally our one week break now! hooray! and blur me actually thought it was going to be three weeks. wad a let down. but owells at least we get a break.. i think i am so not going to be used to the "clinical" life.. waking up early, rounds, getting home late, having to study after getting home.. kinda got accustomed to studying for exams everyday haha..
but its kinda great this time round, cos.. there's a new found sense of peace and stressless-ness as i study for exams this time.. and i really have to thank God for that, because i know He has a plan for me. :)
had grand plans to really make full use of everyday of the break, but i feel so tired when i wake up everyday that i just wanna nua at home.. but when i nua at home i feel so bad, because i am just wasting my precious break away.. but i carn think of anything exciting and cheap to do that's the problem.. dunno who to go out with too.. haha.. maybe im just making excuses cos im too lazy to think of anything. i wish i can just teleport myself. i'm so full of contradiction. im just too lazy for my own good!
hope jess is getting on fine. well, at least she's learning how to cook, while im learning how to be a better complainer. talking about complaining.. it just reminds me of wad happened yesterday at coffee club.. ah traumatic, but nvm, live and let live. jia you jess.. i miss u here!
and i miss mich too.. hope her lab stuff is getting on fine....!
and i miss hp too.... dunno how her classes are.... graduating soon lo!
and i miss my b... i want to meet her! and everyone else too!
i want to plan for my electives. i want to plan for my june hols. but i am such a bad planner. i have no motivation to plan for anything! how bad is it? sigh sigh.
and i absolutely hate the vibes at home now. cummon parents. please grow up. how do u expect me to hold intellectual conversations with you when all you do is cry and act all fragile and vulnerable and give me irrelevant replies which do not answer the questions i have? how do u expect me to discuss things with you when i know you will get all emotional and fired up and then make life hell for me at home? all i wish is to have a decent conversation. one where all of us can sit there, calm and level-headed, all of us speaking politely, no jibes, no sarcasm, no hidden daggers.. using logic to reason, and not generalizing, stereotyping, using spite to get your way. please show me that you have the intellectual capacity to use logic and reason to convince me, and even if i am ultimately not convinced, please act your age and not show a black face or launch the second cold war. please do not put words into my mouth, please do not use this one incident to discount all the previous good things which i have done. please, all i really want to do is to talk to you properly. but what really hurts me is knowing that i probably will never be able to do that. is this what your religion is teaching you to do? are you really following what your religion wants you to do? there is no point kow-towing and donating money, and then behaving this way. i have so much more to say, but there is seriously no point. i really hope one day you guys will see some light. maybe then, we will finally be able to have a decent conversation.
