Thursday, May 25, 2006
hello all! sorry for not posting for such a long time! hmmm.. today's my first relief teaching stint after a long break of 1 year.. and its at rj summore.. how scary.. seriously, jc classes are easier to take, because they are not so rowdy, and they roughly know what they want, so you dun have to push them to copy down the answers, though u have gotta push them to write faster and to write in shorthand..
taught 2so1d electrochem.. and i finished the whole tutorial.. but tml i've got a 2 hr prac session with them.. and mr lee's troubled as to what to do tml.. haha.. and alfie was happily saying that efficient ex-teacher breeds efficient relief teacher..
the classes are so unresponsive.. and its like a "role-play" thing all over again.. its only when u r a teacher that u realise how much attentiveness and participation is appreciated.. before, it was only a "morally right" thing to keep quiet when the teacher is teaching, but now, i feel more deeply, and really try to make my teacher feel more comfortable and "loved".. its bad having to preach to 4 walls and students who talk among themselves.. u feel so left out.. so lost.. kinda sad..
and it doesn't help that this whole place is so new.. ok, i've been here before, but nothing can beat the familiarity of the old campus where i spent 2 memorable years. this campus is too big, factory-like, very angled, too clean, too isolated.. no open door policy for the staff rooms.. the sports complex is so far away in some corner.. the track is so isolated.. no squash courts (HMPH).. i miss the feeeling of being able to see the track when i glance out from the canteen.. just hanging at the spex gal as and when i feel like it, and not have to make a conscious effort to walk a long distance just to get to it.. i miss the old canteen, small yet cosy.. the times all of us huddled together to study for a's.. giving each other enough privacy, yet when you look up from your notes, you're able to feel the support and love all around.. this campus has many tables and chairs randomly scattered across it.. yes, lotsa privacy, lotsa secret nooks and crannies to hay-hay in.. but i guess no more bonding.. its just sad..
its just like how i dun want a big house next time because everyone will be stuck in their own private space, and no one will bother to make the effort to interact.. the only common activity will perhaps be dinner and hopefully breakfast.. kids will watch tv in their own bedrooms.. they go to their own toilets.. the house will only be a house, a hotel, not a home.. yep.. so.. HDB!! yay! or if i'm rich enuf, a condo.. flats are how convenient! bookshops, hawker centres, markets, yada yada just a few steps away, no need to drive, no need to buy groceries from big big big hypermarts.. and it is closer to the heartland.. it keeps you in touch with your roots.. makes you humble.. reminds you that that was where you came from..
but owells, back to relief teaching.. bleahs.. bored.. afterall, i'm not one of "them".. the teachers have been together for how long..
the teachers complain about how bad the attitudes of the students are now.. i dunno. i just hope reality is not as bad as it sounds.. and poor teachers, they have so many other responsibilities besides teaching.. how can they concentrate on teaching then? the society is placing too many demands, and yet providing inadequate support.. we want teachers to discipline, yet we do not give them the liberty to.. bah. and yeah, teaching in a "good" school is definitely a different experience.. i've come to realise that nurture really does play a gargantuan role.. and the education system might be a little too stifling.. children do not know how to think for themselves.. they do not realise the importance of good results when they are young, then they get posted to lousy schools, where the environment is just not conducive for studying.. their peers do not spur one another on, these kids will probably never be exposed to the "other option".. they just learn to classify "the other side" as unattainable targets.. they wallow in self pity, they look down on themselves, they just give up. one wrong step by an innocent ignorant child, and he is sucked into this vicious cycle of stereotypes, neglect.. determination might be able to get them out of this black hole, but these kids have to first realise that they are in a black hole, and that they have the innate ability to get out of it.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
this issue's reader's digest is rather interesting.. life's 25 toughest questions.. here's a few:
1) can love really last a lifetime?
absolutely- but only if you chuck the fairy tale of living happily ever after. a team of scientists recently found that romantic love involves chemical changes in the brain that lasts for 12-18 months. after that, you and your partner are on your own. relationships require maintenance. .....
2) can a marriage survive betrayal?
yes. it takes time and work, but experts are pretty unanimous on this one. this scientist estimates that 60% of husbands and 40% of wives will have an affair at some point in their marriages. that's no advertisement for straying- but the news is good for couples hoping to recover from devastating breaches of trust. the offended partner needs to make the choice to forgive- and learn to live with a memory that can't simply be erased. infidelity is never forgotten, but it can gradually fade into the murky background of a strong mature marriage.
3) can a man and a woman ever just be friends?
for a short time perhaps. making the friendship last requires that you find each other at least vaguely repulsive.
and a couple of interesting quotes:
you have to expect things of yourself before you can do them. -- michael jordon
my parents told me, "finish your dinner. people in china and india are starving." i tell my daughters "finish your homework. people in india and china are starving for your job." (hahaha!)
motherhood is built on the age-old conflict of holding tight and letting go at the same time. children pull us with their needs, then push us away. we're drawn to nurture, and repelled by the grinding demands. we're enticed by our careers, yet shut out if we can't commit fully. finally, it occurs to me: maybe this is the way it is supposed to be. opposing forces create strength.
and a joke to end it all:
my friend susan was helping her 5 yr old son review his math while her teenager was in the kitchen making a snack. "you have $7 and 7 friends," susan said. "u give a dollar each to 2 of them but none to the others. what do you have left?" from the next room, she heard her teenager call out, "2 friends."
