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Sunday, October 17, 2004

hey peeps.. long time no see.. how's everyone? been feeling rather lethargifc lately.. farewell was on friday.. it wasn't a very tearful farewell for me.. (i always cry at the wrong time) because i know that i'll still see most of the people.. its not like we'll never ever meet again.. so why cry? haha.. but its amazing how time just does a 100m dash past you and you don't even realise that it has passed you.. actually i feel quite ashamed of myself sometimes.. i'm already a very lucky girl.. so why am i complaining about so many things? its so disgusting.. i've got a working body, a working (though not working at optimum quality) brain, friends, family, education.. but sometimes.. well.. people just love to compare themselves to those above them...

i wonder.. are we all running the same race? or are we running our own individual races? or are we running a race with those of our own standard? if we are all running the same race, then i've got to ask why some people get to have a headstart over the rest.. but if the answer is one of the other two, then i can only conclude that society isn't fair cos all the races take place simultaneously on the same track and the results arn't judged according to which race you're competing in but instead, your performance is ranked relative to all the races. haha.. actually i realised.. the ultimate conclusion is.. "life isn't fair".. haha.. the world is so complex.. i wonder if i've got a past life, or an afterlife..

but anyway.. wimbledon rocks! squashers must watch it! it brings back the adrenaline of our past squash matches.. with mg esp.. haha.. match points.. the suspense.. haha.. they should make a squash show.. and get perter nicol to star in it.. *drools* haha..
study hard peeps!! :)

__pondering* 1:01 PM :)

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

i love the prison service's quote.
we are always quick to see the flaws of people. but can we see the good in them too?
that's a very catchy quote. so meaningful.

__pondering* 11:28 PM :)

i am an evil girl.

i harbour despicable thoughts towards those around me.

i am a nutcase with screwed up thinking.

stay away from me.

s t a y a w a y from me.

__pondering* 10:36 PM :)

Monday, October 04, 2004

i am tired. tired of trying to be strong. not going to put on that mask anymore. deep down inside, i feel like collasping. i feel like blaming everyone else for all these. but i know i am the only one to blame. i am not smart enough. i hate it. btw, great news for everyone. baorong's GP score: 54.5. yes, 54.5. a lousy score. and yeah, she's not ashamed of announcing it on the blog. so all of you out there. STOP saying that baorong is smart. FOR GOODNESS SAKE. SHE IS NOT. you want evidence? This IS evidence. ask me about my prelim grades. and then laugh. HAHAHA.. finally. baorong got lower than me. HAHAHA. GREAT. why.. why.. why??? got it back today.. tears just welled up when i saw my marks. told myself not to cry. i cannot cry.. but tears just started rolling down.. uncontrollably. told myself to stop. and i think i managed to hold back the tears for a while. lecture. honk came to sit beside me. and i bursted out.. this time it was really uncontrollable. cried quite loudly. couldn't stop. went out of lecture theatre. cried for quite a while with wang.. why?? why can't i just score in this subject? why? what's wrong? what can i do? i tried to do something. i really tried. but i didn't have the time to spend so much time on it cos i was screwed for other things too. i don't know what to do now. I HATE GP. I HATE THIS KIND OF EDUCATION. i dun see what's the use of studying all these dumb things. its just plain STUPID. STUPID. oh heck it. i'm just plain dumb. there's nothing much i can do about it. GOD, IF YOU EXIST, I DARE YOU TO DO SOMETHING TO HELP ME. cos i can't seem to help myself anymore. i hate myself. stupid girl. dumb girl. stop being so weak. you're disgracing yourself. look on the bright side. yeah right.

__pondering* 8:15 PM :)

Saturday, October 02, 2004

haha.. ok i know the pixel quotes and that fairy doll doesn't seem to fit.. but owells.. im feeling too bored..
wang! i know u love this song!! so i placed it as the bckgrd music! :) hope u like it!

__pondering* 9:58 PM :)

hey peeps! do u guys watch yi tian tu long ji??? *melted* awwwww.... zhang wuji is so so so nice!! i wanna be min min!!!! :) so sweet.. i melted when he hugged her and said all those sweet things to her.. :) so nice!! awwwwwwww... its just so so so so nice!!! awwwww.... how.... so nice...... :) i think i m very weird.. haha.. why do i get so worked up over these fictitious stuff when i know this kinda wu xia xiao shuo kinda thing will never happen in real life.. haha.. but i carn help it.. haha.. i think bx has a lot of experience listening to me melt and make funny noises when movie characters kiss.. haha.. :) i think i'm gonna live tml just to watch yi tian tu long ji~ haha.. how nice!!!! awwwww.... carn sleep liao!! so sweet.... :) awwww...

__pondering* 9:03 PM :)