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Monday, June 14, 2004

haha.. just typed this deferment letter in malay.. and i dun even understand a single thing abt wad i'm typing.. haha~ what nice stuff... here it goes..:

Tan Poh Yong (860929-66-5010)
No.222, Sri Gading
83300 Batu Pahat,

Ruj. Tuan: KP/JLKN(S17(2)/04/02/63517)

Ketua Pengarah,
Jabatan Latihan Khidmatan Negara,
Aras 8-10, Mcnara TH Selborn,
153, Jalan Tun Razak,
50400 Kuala Lumpur 14-06-2004



Merujuk kepada perkara di atas, dengan sukacitanya dimaklumkan bahawa saya telah mencrima surat tawaran tuan untuk menyertai Program Khidmat Negara (PKN) yang bertarikh 2nd August 2004. Akan tetapi, saya ingin memohon kebenaran tuan untuk menangguhkan tarikh penyertaan saya ke atas program tersebut.

Untuk makluman pihak tuan, saya tidak dapat menycritai Program Khidmat Negara (PKN) pada tahun ini kerana saya sedang menjalani pengajian saya di Raffles Junior College, Singapura dan pengajian ini dijangka akan tamat pada akhir tahun ini.

Memandangkan masa itu tidak sesuai bagi saya, oleh itu saya berharap pihak tuan dapat meluluskan permohonan saya dan menetapkan satu masa yang sesuai pada tahun depan bagi menjalani Program Khidmat Negara (PKN).

Kerjasama dan pertimbangan yang diberikan oleh pihak tuan, saya merakamkan ucapan ribuan terimah kasih.

Yang benar,

Tan Poh Yong

haha.. do u guys understand anything? hopefully this time i can get my deferment successfully.. must really thank my uncle.. he's so nice.. he's been helping me all along.. running to and fro the goverment orgs.. receiving all the letters and worrying for me.. gettin people to try help me.. trying to -pull strings- *shhh.. haha.. its really nice to have such a nice relative when u r not rly so close to him.. but well.. luckily my dad is close to him.. helps to have nice relatives! haha..

well.. today we had the 1st day of the Reach For the Stars camp.. god.. it was.. *hell* haha.. ok not that bad as hell i guess.. but i really wanted to strangle and scream at the kids man! biang.. carn stand it.. they can't get what they want then they throw tantrum.. biang! really can die lo.. tell her carn buy mamee and coke for her.. then she stand there pout refuse to do anything.. ask her go play games she also refuse.. stand there and dunno do wad.. then after people finish playing then she say she wanna play..gosh.. dunno wad shes thinking.. children ah.. *ok i was a child once.. but..still..* she got so many so many demands.. can die.. really can die.. haha.. ok.. but at the end she gave me this kiss that made me feel like i shud just tolerate her everything tomorrow.. haha.. her way of showing appreciation i guess.. feels quite good.. haha.. tml we're going to the goat farm and feesh farm.. hopw it turns out well..today all of us already wanna die.. wunder how tml will be.. just pray that it'll be betta.. that the children will behave better once they know that they are outdoors and they will really get lost or come to harm if they dun listen to us.. do u think they will?haha.. well.. the planning for this camp is quite well done i must say.. but.. yeah.. but.. still got places to improve i guess.. no wet weather plan.. and.. some parts like no detailed enough i guess..i dunno la.. as long as the children enjoy it.. its ok lo.. and i hope that i have not been too much of a "smart alec" or "bossy" figure.. sometimes i really felt like i hafta say sth.. not to show that i m pro.. which i am not.. cos the MAD camp.. haha.. its not really a success.. and i still hafta learn a lot from others.. but just that i hope that this camp goes well.. cos i noe that jess and mich really want to see results from all their efforts.. so i hope tml's weather is fine..the children behave and that they will enjoy talentquest.. and hopefully bring back nice memories.. and us too.. okok.. wanna go watch TV liao.. men at forty! v nice lo! jian jie and longwei!!! jia you! hee.. catch ya ltr or sth!

__pondering* 8:44 PM :)

Saturday, June 12, 2004

god~ i'm writing my deferment letter for the 6th time.. it feels like crap to be so polite to them when all i wanna do is to spew vulgarities at them.. i dunno if they need some "official" letter that needs to be downloaded from their site or sth.. and their site is not working anyway.. biang.. my uncle just called me.. he's trying to settle things for me~ but he has always been trying the settle things for me since it all started.. there's this person who ran for msian elections.. and he told my uncle that if he supports him, then when he gets appointed, he'll definitely help us.. haha.. and now he's appointed.. where is he? haha~ man is.. *evil*.. haha.. and anyway.. thanks people for ur concern.. really veh touched~ i'll just keep trying.. though its veh frustrating.. have been dreaming.. a lot.. dreamt that i met my classmates and my jie meis in the jurong east library.. and then we studied together had fun together.. and at night there was this show that the library showed.. apparently it was some touching show.. and strangely, there was this IMAX theatre in the library.. and all of us watched the show.. from 1030pm to 130am.. wad a good feeling to be together with everyone again! wish it would come true someday! though its impossible for the library to build an imax theatre! haha! jia you everyone!! relax and enjoy the hols.. it'd be a mad rush~ and i hope everyone ace their exams!

__pondering* 11:41 AM :)

Friday, June 11, 2004

and yeah.. malaysia is so POK until their STINKING OFFICIAL national service website is not working la.. some kind of government. god bless malaysia.

__pondering* 12:39 PM :)

malasian NS SUCKS~

oh god~ just as i was worrying for my future.. the issue of serving NS in msia has ti come back to haunt me.. becuase many critics have been saying that the NS will be a flop, the person in charge went mad and began to implement it harshly.. people who deferred have to seve it immediately after their exams.. people who din defer gotta go in like right now.. i sent in my letter like 5 over times.. GOD BLESS THEM! WHAT"S WRONG WITH THEIR STINKING STUCK IN THE MUD BRAIN? i already sent my letter 5 times.. and my relatives in msia have already approached the leaders of the super big powerful organizations.. and they just refuse to give me my DEFERMENT.. god bless la.. its just a DEFERMENT.. what the hell is wrong with them.. great.. now they send a letter saying i gotta be in by august.. wad the FREAK. if not.. they will fine and jail me.. for six months in some stinking malaysia jail.. they suck la.. if i go in.. prob i'll get raped and slaughtered and tortured under the hands of monsters.. SHUCKS.. ok.. i m exaggerating.. but wads the point of spending so much money while they can just work on getting their people educated so that they can dun b so ignorant under government propaganda and so that they can stop being so.. FUNDAMENTAL.. if they have so much $ to spare.. then go develop ur industries boy.. look at the amount of land u have and wad u r using them for.. wasting land.. that is wad u noe how to do best.. waste money waste land.. if malaysia becomes more successful and developed and people can live more happily, then there's no more need for any national service man.. people will be too happy and will happily defend malaysia la.. god bless them.. god gave them brains but do they ever think i wonder. some pigs they are. if u say national service is for national bonding.. not for national defence.. i dunno why u are forcing people who DUN WAN to bond to BOND. GOD BLESS. and all u report is tonnes of shit propaganda.. wad abt all the death cases and rape cases and people who get tortured to death or beaten to death or drowned to death in jail.. all u report is just what.. people forging friendship.. hugging each other after they leave the place.. u think we are so stupid ah.. ur report involves how many people? ONLY TWO! god!! where's ur brain!? that's obvious propaganda la! STUPID FOOLS. the whole report focuses only on the 2 people.. i think the whole NS thing only these 2 are happy la.. and probably they are so close cos they help each other not get raped or tortured la.. bunch of mother******S.. use ur brain la.

__pondering* 12:23 PM :)

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

sigh.. talkin to people has made me feel so uncertain about the future.. relationships can change so easily.. u never know the expiry date of the relationship u r in.. hopefully there isn't any.. and even if there is, you'd never know before hand.. its just so unpredictable..any amount of years.. it might just amount to nothing.. i dunno if that's fate.. if its something good.. or its something sad.. i'm able to console somebody.. ask him to take it with a pinch of salt.. but if that really happens to me, what will happen to me? when that one door closes.. does another one really open? sigh.. what will happen in the future? will our paths still be one? will there come a day when this one path will fork into two, accompanied by showers of tears? i dun dare to think.. i realize i dun like to think.. i just like to see things superficially.. its much better that way.. i'd rather be a naive gullible girl and be taken in easily and be happy.. than think a lot and ponder a lot about the dark sides.. and end up feelin dejected.. sigh.. why am i thinking of all these in the first place.. cheers to a happy ending for all! may all couples be together always.. and may everyone find the other half they're born with eventually..

__pondering* 11:11 PM :)


hey hey!! :) noe wad? betty got through Singapore Idol Auditions round 1!! :) hee.. when i received her sms.. i was so happy i almost screamed! but of cos i couldn't cos i was outside.. waiting to watch harry potter with the class.. haha.. really feel so happy for her.. called her immediately.. and we chatted for like 1 hour? haha.. remember during sec3 or sec4.. both of us were practising real hard for the talentime.. haha.. went to Jurong Point to buy the karaok version of Colours of the Wind..it was real hard to find the song.. then we went back to my house to practise till real late.. haha.. then the next day.. we went to mediacorp together.. climbed that hill together and sweated like hell.. went up to take the application form.. just to realise that we are too young for the competition.. haha.. we were only 16 or 17.. and only 18 and above can take part.. we felt to cheated.. then we descended the hill and it started raining.. at that shelter there was this drink machine.. and betty was veh pissed (with talentime) and she stole 1 can of drink from the machine.. haha.. at that time a cleaner walked past and asked betty wad she was doing.. and betty hurriedly said that the machine ate her money.. din give her drink.. and the cleaner had to open the machine and give one can to her.. haha.. its real funny.. the cleaner was offering us a drink that we din even pay for! haha! this kinda small mischief.. i'll nv forget.. now.. betty finally has the chance to realize her dream.. she always wanted to be a singer.. haha.. just like i do.. just that she has the guts to pursue wad she wants and she actively sources for opportunities to realise her dreams.. while i just sit at home and daydream away and get caught in the horrible rat race. haha.. betty and i talked for so long.. it felt so good to talk to a close friend.. an old friend.. were talking about how our clique is not a clique anymore.. everyone's too busy to mind other's business..we don't go out.. we dun really contact each other so often.. maybe jess jamie mich do.. but the rest of us don't.. we're all not that close anymore.. its quite sad.. sigh.. hopefully.. after A's. everything will be better.. when all of us dun have to study... maybe we can all work together.. or go out after work to chill.. hopefully go to same uni.. and stuff.. yadayada..we also talked abt ppl changing.. yeah... people do change a lot.. its scary.. growing up brings about changes.. whether you want it or not.. its scary.. but i guess its kinda fun too? haha.. i really dun wanna mug.. everyone's mugging hard ya? haha.. sigh.. mug and then? get caught in the rat race all over again.. yh and i were talking that day.. how good it wld be if we could go live by the sea or in the mountains.. away from all these competition.. from all the stress of the city and industralisation.. survive on subsistence living.. no material wealth.. but just enough to get by day to day.. enjoy the world just as it is.. but we concluded that.. the choice to live that way is always there.. its just that we cannot let go of what we have now.. sigh.. we are too zhi2 zhou2 with regards to what we possess.. even if one day.. somebody made all the necessary arrangements for me to live by the sea.. i wouldn't be able to go.. even though i've always dreamed about it.. cos i wun be able to let go of the industralised dreams.. dreams of making it big.. of the material comfort that the city gives me and the rural does not.. the industralised leisure activities.. not being able to get used to the prolong slow pace of the rural area.. the different kind of lifestyle that makes u feel as if you are not achieving anything.. that you seem to have no dreams no aspirations no ambition.. i think its all conditioning.. we were brought up from young to compete.. its pogrammed inside.. no way to change.. hopeefully i will die by the countryside.. by the sea.. and not admidst the rat race..

__pondering* 10:18 AM :)

finally a public blog~
Monday, June 07, 2004

:) been very inspired by all the blogs i've been reading.. they look so beautiful.. *grin* hope i can have a beautiful site i can call my own too~ haha.. so that i can keep in touch with people i know.. sat down for half an hour++ trying to come out with a suitable name.. wanted esperanza.. beautiful name.. spanish word for hope.. hmmm.. gonna watch harry potter later.. exciting.. came back from KL yesterday.. quite a fun trip.. i just wonder.. if this would be the last time i'd be seeing my grandfather.. hopefully not.. sigh.. i hope i can cherish him more.. i knoe.. what a weird thing to say.. but i can't seem to make myself cherish him more.. perhaps its the distance.. the language barrier.. and the lack of interaction.. i noe i'll regret once he is gone.. "y wasn't i better to my grandad" but.. i really don't know how..

__pondering* 11:20 AM :)