read something in today's Today..
goodness. this one really got to me.
This Sxxx Lxxxx xxxx is such a MCP.
To quote what he said in the forum section..
"The conventional wisdom on divorce is that it only happens after both husband and wife have tried their best to save their marriage. But i have my doubts. In more than 70% of the cases, it was the wife who filed for divorce. Why?
Women continue to work after their marriage and having children. This i believe, must be one of the main contributing factors for the high rate of divorce.
Women prefer to work after marriage because this provides financial independence. When things get tough after marriage, these women are not willing to ride it out with their husbands and are not afraid to call it quits as they know they can easily support themselves.
Another problem arises when women continue to work after marriage. Husbands, who are usually the breadwinners, expect to return home to warm home-cooked meals and a well-organized house. But if wives are also working, they feel stressed and complain about doing housework after their day at the office.
Men will begin to feel deprived of these things. Tensions and misunderstandings build up.
If women stop working after marriage, i believe it can help foster a better husband-wife relationship and thus reduce divorces.
Women should understand that if they can't stand the heat of working life, it's better for them to get back into the kitchen. "
OH MY GOD.
i can't believe i am reading this kind of thing in this century!
oh my god.
I am so ASTONISHED and PISSED!
wow.. he speaks as though he understands marriages and in particular, divorces, very well. I wonder why. Has he gone through many divorces too?
the last sentence especially. if women can't stand the heat of working life, they shud get back into the kitchen. my goodness my goodness my goodness. oh my goodness. i am just dumbfounded. like utterly totally at a loss for words.
so he meant to say that it is women's sole duty to stay in the house and look after the house, or kitchen? and only if they are able to juggle that well are they allowed to go out to work? what is this man.
i think this person is one heck of an insecure man. he's so scared of his wife having financial stability. it absolutely disgusts me. didn't it occur to him that this financial security gives women the chance and courage to fight for equal treatment and to speak the truth?
and doesn't he think that it is an absolutely sad case if a woman stays in a marriage just because she doesn't have the financial ability to opt out?
isn't this using money to oppress people?
oh cummon man.
i think his thinking is fundamentally wrong.
the problem lies not with the woman working.
it lies with the value and sanctity of marriage in modern society.
of cos, money does play a role. but it is not one of the main contributing factors i feel.
if a woman is not willing to solve problems when they occur in a marriage, one wonders why that marriage existed in the first place. and one wonders what the marriage means to her. it is something that has gotta do with the values that our society has. not work!
where is equality man?
so he wants only himself to have financial independence so that only he has the power to call the shots in the marriage?
why most of the divorces are filed by women is because men tend to escape from reality using work as an excuse, whereas women, being the more emotional gender, tend to brood more and thus come to a conclusion for the problem?
what is the world coming to?
anyway, thanks to all those who remembered my birthday.. esp u :)
There is no escape: It seems that everything one does to earn a livelihood, to subsist, or to enjoy life turns out to be illegal, immoral, or fattening, or -most disturbing- possibly carcinogenic.
What makes this so amusing is that this is found in a pathology textbook. haha!
yep! as the title goes, finally an update..
been rather lazy to blog.. because things have been happening and i haven't got any chance to slow down and think about them..
ok, school has started.. rather hectic, with notes piling dangerously high.. sighz..
the good thing, or (maybe bad) is..
this acad year is different from the prev one..
i guess i have morphed into a more social animal this year.. yep yep.. it takes a long time for me to get comfortable with the people around me, and i am really glad i have my beloved group of friends around me..they are the constant in this world of change that keeps me tethered to the ground. life would be so depressing and meaningless without them. thanks for everything dears.
flipped through the book "the secret language of birthdays" on wednesday, and the description was so alarmingly and unbelievably spot-on. all those self-confidence issues, spontaneity, insecurity, chaos, yada yada.. i love reading these kinda things, because they allow you to understand yourself better. you can only change yourself for the better when you know exactly which part of you you should change. and it also allows you to take better control of your emotions, because seeing it black and white helps put a written term to your abstract feelings, and so gives that formless entity some form of substance, and hence, some form of control..
and so i was thinking, are all those who share the same birthdate as me really so similar to me? then what happened to the "nurture", and even "nature" aspects of character? will a child born in an environment where his/her abilities are being affirmed all the time have low self-confidence simply by virtue of his/her birthday?
the book posed a question to those who share the same birthday as me: what do you see when you're in the eye of a cyclone?
i see the surrounding buffer zone of paradoxical calmness. and i see the chaos and destruction beyond it. i wonder if i can be the one who manages to venture through those 2 zones into the unknown beyond. and so with a burst of energy and impulse, i charge through the cyclone unarmed and unprepared, only to find that the path ahead of me has gotten progressively cloudier because of the mess the force of the cyclone has conjured. while the direction had been so clear before, i find myself now lost. and so i head back dejected, into the safety zone that is so familiar and go into recluse.. but after sometime, the temptation of what lies beyond gets to me, and the whole cycle repeats.
wow, i have no idea how that one question could end up with such a long answer..
had a really really really good heart-to-heart talk with sang sang today.. oh man, i miss jc days.. days of the 30 minutes jogging session in the sunset with bena and sang and sunny.. of playing floorball in the canteen using the dustbin as the goalpost.. of climbing the rj gates and getting caught by the police.. of spraying fire extinguisher into neh neh's ts when he's doing maths.. haha.. endless escapades..
anyway, back to the catch up session.. we were talking about school and relationships.. complaining and telling funny wild stories.. haha..
i guess both of us are the "luo-man-di-ke" type of girls, particularly me.. was quite disillusioned for a while, but i guess even disillusionment wears off. tv serials never fail to make me dream of fairytales.
and both of us have got a wild/bad streak in us.. haha..and its quite under control i think. well well.. girls just understand each other best.. we understand why we do the bitchy things we do, we find comfort in the sad fact that while we can understand each other, guys carn seem to figure out the female species. just unloading all those complaints.. of how tiring being understanding girlfriends can be.. of how constipating it feels when we're faced with situations which we are unhappy about but we just can't do anything about. of how things just died down because time breeds familiarity..
well well, moral of the story. being single rocks big time!! haha as ee sang says, "i can even feel the wind when i walk".. wow, the sweet taste of release from responsibilities and obligations and restrictions, and yes, expectations. the happiness of being who we really are, instead of trying to live up to the "ideal girlfriend" model we have in our minds because we feel our other half deserves the best. dun get me wrong, its not that we mind sacrificing or changing ourselves (any relationship is a dynamic equilibrium of compromise i feel) , but i guess everyone wants value for money.. and well, its always good be be selfish muahaha.
i realise i get scared very very easily. and i know i am an escapist.
i get very scared when i feel that there are expectations that are required of me by the other person. i get scared when i feel as though my every gesture and sentence are being analysed for any subtleties or nuances. i get very scared when i feel as though the whole conversation has some overall purpose. i get scared when people suddenly throw me a frank statement out of the blue. i get scared when i dunno what the person is up to. and i get absolutely terrified when i need to interact with people i am scared of.
and yes, i am very tired. suddenly very tired of the human relationship webs weaving around me. all the politics. all the "trying-not-to-offend people".. all the speculations.. all the undercurrents.. all the things that have happened that made me realise humans are much more complex than i thought.. i think it is real sad if one has to constantly care about what he says or does because some ppl are hypersensitive and do not forget.
i am tired of finding myself in the same predicament again.
tired of knowing something is wrong, and yet not having the determination to do the right thing.
tired of making things happen.
tired of being alright when deep down i know something is not right. and yet i do not want it to stop.
life is still wonderful :) at least god gave me a healthy body and functioning mind. that's enough to be thankful for :):)