surgery is making me so so so tired. waking up so early is torture! i just wanna sleep and sleep and sleep.
wow.. its been a very.. hmmm.. traumatizing few weeks.
traumatizing cos.. i was gonna have end of medicine posing test but i wasn't feeling the heat of it all until the day before the exam..
was still slacking so much, watching so much tv.. all the bao jia wei guo, SATC, korean show..
where has my discipline gone to?
kept telling myself i had enough time, i will manage somehow haha, and on the eve of the exam i panicked cos there was so much more ground to cover but there was no more time..
and what was best was i forgot to bring the notebook that i copied everything in to CGH.. and we had to wait rather long to be tested.. so couldn't do productive last minute revision.. blahz.
and yeah the whole test was a disaster. like. t.o.t.a.l. d.i.s.a.s.t.e.r. and i think i actually deserved the outcome whatever it may be cos i have been much too slack the whole of medicine posting. wasted time doing unnecessary things.. time to buck up.. haha.. its the worst test i've ever had, and well.. i'm surprised that i'm taking it so easy despite the horrible outcome.. like.. skipping some steps to save time in order to perform other steps which i forgot to do in the end cos the examiner hurried me and any sense left in my brain just flew out the window. but well.. i dunno la.. i think i really deserve it la.. so i can only blame myself for it.
hopefully i wun fail. trying to convince myself that even if i fail and gotta do a reposting for med, it'll be for the best.. afterall, everything works out for the best doesn't it?
well just very glad that after the whole ordeal, i went to play squash instead of choosing the easy way out of stoning at home.. bitched to yeelin haha then felt so much better.. played lots of 2-against-1.. uber fun! thoroughly enjoyed playing squash 2 agaist 1 haha.. saw this guy (apparently some SAF big shot) with a weird haircut. his hairstyle is really the "put a bowl over ur head and cut the hair that juts out from underneath" kind. yeelin and i were like saying funny things about it.. and yeah, he's the A type personality, super competitive.. quite an eye opener playing with him!
then went out with chor chor to see fireworks and enjoyed a late late dinner at nyny.. once again i'm amazed that an island so small like singapore can house so many people.. the crowd kept thronging by while we ate dinner.. it was crazy.. fireworks was nice, but it was the company larhs. had a nice time chatting to chor chor, listening to his antics like kicking a hole in his door.. haha.. sorry zhi veldie eugene joel rous and beanbean for not joining u all that night!
also had liwei's belated "surprise" birthday lunch at marche's vivocity.. nice cosy little gathering.. and then walked ard very very long and spent quite a bit of money.. but well had another v nice talk with wernsern.. i like great conversations..
can't believe i have to be at ttsh everyday by 730am.. i used to be so slack. like going to AH only at 10am.. waking up at 830.. now i gotta be up at 6? craziness. hope my body clock can get used to it! and hope some internal engine in me will start working.. haha..
and yesh i'm glad im in the same hospital with my chiobus shera and wenphei! if u gals are reading this... HELLOS!!!! haha!
adios! and hope mr wang is doing well adapting in the US.......
hahaha wad a funny quote from SATC
you're a nobody till somebody loves you
hmmm actually i dunno what's so funny abt it, but i just find it funny..
just a crazy random thought..
if only we could exercise in our dreams and the results translate into reality!
wow i can really make full use of my time then! i dun mind giving up sweet dreams and have running sessions in my dreams instead (i mean we dun remember most of our dreams anyway), and poof! wake up feeling great and all worked out! haha..
and hmmm was just thinking..
is it better to crowd all the patients with the same illness into one ward or is it better to space them out in different wards? good thing about them all being in the same ward is that they will not feel that they are alone.. i mean, misery loves company, and all of them are inflicted with the same type of illness.. its kinda like a silent "support group" i think..
but the downside is that they will take comfort in the fact that their illness probably isn't that bad since it is so common and many people are also suffering from it.. and that might lead to complacency or whatever you call it and they might not be so meticulous in their own care.. but i guess that is not so likely to happen.. cos they will be able to see the consequences of not taking good care of themselves from other patients.. and it also brings them down to earth that complications do happen and can happen to them just like they did to the other people around them..
alright, that was another crazy random thought.
'nuff random thoughts for the day!
oh ya, i do believe in karma..
oh gosh, my weekend is so guiltily refreshing..
slept so so so so much
ate a lot of cos..
went out with my parents..
and.. the greatest sin of all
sex and the city.. i finished the whole season 4 that's reallllly bad
and my end of posting test is like.. very soon?
i was watching sex and the city on my labtop in the kitchen and my mum was sitting next to me.. haha i'll never forget the horrified look on her face when she heard funny sounds coming from my com and then saw explicit things she shouldn't have seen when she peeped over.. haha.. and then she feebly asked me what i was watching (i think she thought i was watching erps porn?) and was surprised when i just non-chalantly (i tried my best to be) told her it was another tv serial.. haha that scene was worth a million bucks.
i guess that show isn't all about the "porn" and "sex" part.. i admit that show is a little too "sexual" for the asian appetite, but it does bring out many pertinent issues that are worth thinking about.. things that you dun find in the textbooks, things you can only learn from experience..
seems like july and august are the months of heartbreaks.. to all my dearest friends who are not having it easy now, please cheer up.. you are not alone.. i'm always here if u need me.. someone more suitable will eventually come along, hopefully..
haven't heard from the gurls for a super long time.. i guess they must be busy having fun before school reopens.. lucky them.. i wish my break was a bit longer too..
and i'm becoming increasingly aware that i'm actually very needy.. that's so contrary to what i hope i am.. needy of emotional support, of a pillar, of a constant in this everchanging world.. someone i can stick to and cling onto admidst all the routine chaos.. someone who will always be with me, not physically but spiritually. someone with a common aim, with insight, guide me along life.. someone to sit with me and talk me through things, bring things into perspective, give me some sincere heartfelt encouragement, drop me some inspiration, drop me messages, give me things to look forward to.. i realised i really hate hate hate being left alone, feeling alone, being alone.. it really brings me down.. and the great irony is that i am not really very sociable. what a horrible combination.
just heard that my dear senior who's 23 is engaged! gonna ROM next jan, and holding the ceremony when she graduates.. my jaw really dropped. i couldn't close my mouth and she had to tell me to close it when she broke the news.. i'm really really so so so happy for her! wow! i mean.. people ard us are starting to get married! we are really growing up sia.. its like.. the end of dating.. end of looking around.. the start of a stable life, of settling down.. the start of becoming a "mrs somebody".. accepting rsponsibilities of being a wife.. its like.. the real thing.. the "forever", 'the one', that same person you're gonna spend your whole life with.. when she told me, all these just came like an avalanche into my mind.. engagement is such a magical word.. it brings an immense sense of joy, security, stability, yet its also very scary because of all the maturity its 'aftermath' requires. its just unbelievable that my dear friend 2 years older than me is going to accept these responsibilities and make those promises.. can't wait to attend her wedding! and yes, i think she found herself a good man.. someone who goes the extra mile to spice things up, someone who thinks of the relationship from the 'we' point of view, someone who puts her into the equation whenever possible.. what more can a girl ask for?
well well, as for me, i LOVE MY FAMILY. my wonderful father. my fantastic mother. my adorable sister. love them to bits. i dunno what i'll do without them. it makes me scared to think of life without them.. what will i do? how will i cope? it just scares me to know i'm so dependent on them.. and i wonder how there are people who can get by without family support.. it makes me so so grateful for whatever i have now..
alright.. time for season 5.. adios!