Tuesday, October 16, 2007
all of us are always searching for something..
even when we already have what we were initially searching for, we'll still continue searching for something to supposedly make it better..
maybe its this process of searching, the uncertainty, the unknown, that makes life more thrilling?
remembered this conversation i had with shera on our last day of posting at ttsh.. we were talking about the ultimate meaning of life. and we both decided that if we had to make the horrible choice between having a great career and establishing meaningful relationships, we will choose "establishing meaningful relationships" hands down.. but then i was wondering.. what is the use of establishing meaningful relationships? i mean.. is there a greater purpose for all these? so what if we had established meaningful relationships in this life? does it affect anything else? afterall, everything cease to exist after we take our last breath.. we might have influenced someone else, but how many of us actually influence others in a way that has a significant impact on their lives? and i felt that almost all the things that people do actually have a selfish intent.. let's say, helping people.. like.. helping poor people and not charging them and not expecting anything in return? why do we do this? its because it makes US feel good about ourselves.. it feeds OUR ego.. it satisfies US.. yeah, so almost everything we do are "selfish" acts..
and if we were meant to come to "earth" in "this life" to learn, to live life.. what are we living this life for? what happens to all the things we've learnt after we're gone? what's the purpose of learning so many things now.. do we have somewhere to apply them when we're gone? is there a greater purpose to all the things we're doing now? not just for the "immediate" future (like in 50 years time..) but for a more distant future maybe? i dunno if im talking coherently, because this is such an abstract thought.. and i'm distracted watching chong qing sen lin in the other browser haha..
and yeps.. shera and i agreed that choosing medicine was "a choice of exclusion".. we did not know what other things we wanna study more than medicine, that's why we chose it.. hmm to me, there is a difference between this "choice made by exclusion", and the die die wanting to be a doctor sort haha.. oh yeah i remember why we started talking about this.. its cos a ho told us that if given the choice to start over again, he would not have chosen medicine.. so our answer was we would still have chosen medicine because we can't think of any other course we wanted to do haha..
haha i'm enjoying the break! spent the whole day watching shows like house and grey's on the net.. then later on there's tv.. gosh i think my myopia is getting worse haha..
jiayou my fellow meddies who are studying hard for medicine test! do take a breather, dun overwork!!
