Sunday, August 05, 2007
oh gosh, my weekend is so guiltily refreshing..
slept so so so so much
ate a lot of cos..
went out with my parents..
and.. the greatest sin of all
sex and the city.. i finished the whole season 4 that's reallllly bad
and my end of posting test is like.. very soon?
i was watching sex and the city on my labtop in the kitchen and my mum was sitting next to me.. haha i'll never forget the horrified look on her face when she heard funny sounds coming from my com and then saw explicit things she shouldn't have seen when she peeped over.. haha.. and then she feebly asked me what i was watching (i think she thought i was watching erps porn?) and was surprised when i just non-chalantly (i tried my best to be) told her it was another tv serial.. haha that scene was worth a million bucks.
i guess that show isn't all about the "porn" and "sex" part.. i admit that show is a little too "sexual" for the asian appetite, but it does bring out many pertinent issues that are worth thinking about.. things that you dun find in the textbooks, things you can only learn from experience..
seems like july and august are the months of heartbreaks.. to all my dearest friends who are not having it easy now, please cheer up.. you are not alone.. i'm always here if u need me.. someone more suitable will eventually come along, hopefully..
haven't heard from the gurls for a super long time.. i guess they must be busy having fun before school reopens.. lucky them.. i wish my break was a bit longer too..
and i'm becoming increasingly aware that i'm actually very needy.. that's so contrary to what i hope i am.. needy of emotional support, of a pillar, of a constant in this everchanging world.. someone i can stick to and cling onto admidst all the routine chaos.. someone who will always be with me, not physically but spiritually. someone with a common aim, with insight, guide me along life.. someone to sit with me and talk me through things, bring things into perspective, give me some sincere heartfelt encouragement, drop me some inspiration, drop me messages, give me things to look forward to.. i realised i really hate hate hate being left alone, feeling alone, being alone.. it really brings me down.. and the great irony is that i am not really very sociable. what a horrible combination.
just heard that my dear senior who's 23 is engaged! gonna ROM next jan, and holding the ceremony when she graduates.. my jaw really dropped. i couldn't close my mouth and she had to tell me to close it when she broke the news.. i'm really really so so so happy for her! wow! i mean.. people ard us are starting to get married! we are really growing up sia.. its like.. the end of dating.. end of looking around.. the start of a stable life, of settling down.. the start of becoming a "mrs somebody".. accepting rsponsibilities of being a wife.. its like.. the real thing.. the "forever", 'the one', that same person you're gonna spend your whole life with.. when she told me, all these just came like an avalanche into my mind.. engagement is such a magical word.. it brings an immense sense of joy, security, stability, yet its also very scary because of all the maturity its 'aftermath' requires. its just unbelievable that my dear friend 2 years older than me is going to accept these responsibilities and make those promises.. can't wait to attend her wedding! and yes, i think she found herself a good man.. someone who goes the extra mile to spice things up, someone who thinks of the relationship from the 'we' point of view, someone who puts her into the equation whenever possible.. what more can a girl ask for?
well well, as for me, i LOVE MY FAMILY. my wonderful father. my fantastic mother. my adorable sister. love them to bits. i dunno what i'll do without them. it makes me scared to think of life without them.. what will i do? how will i cope? it just scares me to know i'm so dependent on them.. and i wonder how there are people who can get by without family support.. it makes me so so grateful for whatever i have now..
alright.. time for season 5.. adios!
