why do all good things come to an end?? Tuesday, January 16, 2007
i am just not in the mood to study.. haven't been studying these few days anyway..
the future seems so obscure.. sometimes i wonder whether the things i am doing now will have any bearing on my future..
who knows?
i might get sick of medicine (sorry, pun unintended)
maybe pick up a new skill.. like baking.. and.. hmmm.. carve a niche for myself in another industry?
i wonder if i am too "unambitious"..
i am not aiming to be any well-known doctor or to be the most outstanding doc.. my only wish now is just to get by.. just do what i do..
seems like besides wanting to be a doctor, i do not have other "smaller" aims in life.. i only have one big abstract goal, the rest is a whirl of blur.
maybe i am just leaving some space so that i can fulfil some of my other "useless" wishes.. but precisely because they are so "useless" and serve no purpose, i have no motivation to go after them.. inertia larhz. envy you b.. u r courageous enough to go after what your heart wants to do.. go to japan, learn jap, take up sewing, go to singing classes, etc etc.. at least at the end of the day, even if things do not work out, you can tell yourself "i tried".
so fast.. everyone's turning 21 this year! betty, ness, qiantai, renji are adults already.. emily and moses soon.. i've known so many people for so long! ness, jess,b, liwei for 12 years, the rest of the girls for 9 years.. its amazing to look through the photo albums and see the transformation of all of us.. childish girls sitting beside the fish pond singing spice girls songs.. rebellious rg girls sauntering down orchard with low belts and ankle socks pretending that we are super cool.. ignorant jc kids thinking that we're the most senior and that secondary sch kids are childish.. and now uni undergrads pursuing our different goals in life..we're like kites with a single common origin, as the years pass, our lines slowly unreel and we soar in the vast blue sky in whatever direction the wind brings us to..
i like to think that all of us are flying at the same level, no one is higher than anyone else.. afterall, we're all searching for our own places in different parts of the sky, who's faring better and who's not is only a matter of perspective. we all have some things that others don't.
yeps, but at the end of the day, we all have a single origin. we all started out as silly young girls in rulang/rgs, always envying the seniors and wanting to grow up.. may all of us leave no "if only's" in our lives and be so close always!!! :)
