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baorong
21
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a start
Saturday, April 29, 2006

i figured a new blogskin will renew my vigour to post on the blog again.. so here it is.. no more sweet pink.. its now a dull gray haha..

its now the hols.. and i hope it will continue to be the hols for the rest of the people out there.. its so painful to know tt ppl will have to take the supps.. and there goes the only hols they'll have in 5 years..or maybe more than that..

well, the 1st year of uni life has indeed flown past me.. when you're in it, it seems to drag on painfully slowly, like the malt sugar candy that clings on so tightly to the chopsticks and refuse to escape into your mouth.. but when you're out and think back, everything seems like a whirlpool..

orientation, rag and flag, adjusting to the workload, independent study, weird FAs and CAs, pros, squash, OG, anat group, girlfriends, social life, family yada yada..

what a huge mental state alteration i have gone through.. makes me a little scared to think of "what if i have to go through that all over again"..

talking to suriya that day has made me realise how much i have grown up over the years, how much my thinking has changed.. the rebellious " i hate my father and mother and sister, my friends are gods" thinking to the "i love my family and friends" state i am in now.. how much more mature i am now.. i wonder how much more mature i will be in the future..

visiting auntie anna has also made me realise the changes in me.. i vaguely remember the "mafia"br and bx.. belts pulled way below the waist, puffed pinnofores, super short hair, gruff mannerisms.. i guess its a facade for both of us.. and its something only the 2 of us will understand.. oh how i miss the past.. i seem to live in the past and the future.. not in the present.. maybe cos the present requires me to make many decisions that i refuse to make.. think about things, and in the end, things go round in a cycle and i end up where i am a first.. how i hate all that.. thinking about the future seems to alleviate all the troubles haha..

i must enjoy my holidays!

and welcome back to the rainly land of singapore, wang!

__pondering* 11:19 AM :)