_living each day*

harry potter

Sunday, April 30, 2006

harry potter and the socerer's stone is showing on channel 5 now.. somehow, knowing the ending makes everything less exciting.. thinking that eventually, the kind wise seemingly omnipotent dumbledore will be killed by evil snape makes me extremely extremely sad. yes, it is indeed foolish to get upset over something fictitious, esp. fantasy.. but well.. the same kind of things are happening in reality arn't they?

why does evil exist? if the myth is true, then i really detest pandora. but without evil, there will be no contrasting comparison to kindness and purity will there?

why is this world so complicated then?
and why are humans so complicated?
maybe if we are all robots, life will be much simpler.
but then again, we'll merely be existing. not living.

__pondering* 8:23 PM :)

a start

Saturday, April 29, 2006

i figured a new blogskin will renew my vigour to post on the blog again.. so here it is.. no more sweet pink.. its now a dull gray haha..

its now the hols.. and i hope it will continue to be the hols for the rest of the people out there.. its so painful to know tt ppl will have to take the supps.. and there goes the only hols they'll have in 5 years..or maybe more than that..

well, the 1st year of uni life has indeed flown past me.. when you're in it, it seems to drag on painfully slowly, like the malt sugar candy that clings on so tightly to the chopsticks and refuse to escape into your mouth.. but when you're out and think back, everything seems like a whirlpool..

orientation, rag and flag, adjusting to the workload, independent study, weird FAs and CAs, pros, squash, OG, anat group, girlfriends, social life, family yada yada..

what a huge mental state alteration i have gone through.. makes me a little scared to think of "what if i have to go through that all over again"..

talking to suriya that day has made me realise how much i have grown up over the years, how much my thinking has changed.. the rebellious " i hate my father and mother and sister, my friends are gods" thinking to the "i love my family and friends" state i am in now.. how much more mature i am now.. i wonder how much more mature i will be in the future..

visiting auntie anna has also made me realise the changes in me.. i vaguely remember the "mafia"br and bx.. belts pulled way below the waist, puffed pinnofores, super short hair, gruff mannerisms.. i guess its a facade for both of us.. and its something only the 2 of us will understand.. oh how i miss the past.. i seem to live in the past and the future.. not in the present.. maybe cos the present requires me to make many decisions that i refuse to make.. think about things, and in the end, things go round in a cycle and i end up where i am a first.. how i hate all that.. thinking about the future seems to alleviate all the troubles haha..

i must enjoy my holidays!

and welcome back to the rainly land of singapore, wang!

__pondering* 11:19 AM :)

Monday, April 17, 2006

wrote about the biochem vivas in the 3stanis' blog : www.3stanis.blogspot.com

haha.. traumatizing experience.. felt like a clown.. oh wadever.. but it made me realise that there's no point studying for physio vivas at all haha.. i'll just still look like a clown anyway! haha..

met prof he beiping.. haha and he asked me what i was doing in school so i said i was there for biochem vivas.. and then his whole expression changed and he exclaimed "what happened??!!"
haha.. its rather hilarious actually, thinking back about it haha..

__pondering* 12:54 PM :)

a trip down memory lane

Monday, April 10, 2006

i decided to dig out all my old letters and postcards and pack them properly today.. its been on my agenda for sometime already but as usual, i'm always too lazy to do so.. wow.. what a tasteful session it had been.. i've been keeping all my postcards, letters etc.. even those little notes that are the size of half your finger.. from primary school onwards.. i see the letters written by jessica from primary school.. the funny valentines' day cards by those 3 boys: chaoqin, liwei watson.. the time when wah ming was called waggies.. when jess was victoria and i was emma.. and then liwei was b-rock, and the other guys were the other guys in bsb.. and then it progressed to ness being clay, jess being tj, and me being ryan (the guys in take 5), and then we called ourselves take 3.. the times competing in the "sunken area" to see who had completed the most number of assessment books or prelim papers.. or busy making sure each other don't cheat when transferring the number of stars we got from our 10/10 in spelling tests into the little blue book so that we could redeem rewards..

then it got onto secondary school.. the pictures.. the squash times at kallang and msia.. the things we did in school.. squash camp etc etc.. the postcards betty jamie jess ness bx mich wrote me.. there's this bright red envelope where bx wrote "sexpot br" for my bday.. the random creative notes that jamie gave us.. the nice postcards that jess bought from fareast and wrote to us with.. the lyrics that betty wrote to me.. and the nice little notes we shared during our tough times during sec 1 and 2.. what dear memories..

i had a lot of good laughs reading through some of the things.. remembering how childish we were.. and like mich said, its true, you always think that you're very mature at that point in time, but as you grow older and look back at the past, you find that you were actually very childish back then, and you feel that you are so much more mature now, and you can't get any more mature than that.. and the cycle goes on.. :) its very funny.. very funny..

my mum told me to throw away the letters.. and i adamantly refused.. what precious memories they are! pictures may speak a thousand words, but these letters and notes are actually real-time chronicles of our thoughts at that time, an amusing, innocent, and very true record of the events we went through as we were growing up.. i will never ever throw them away.. it'll be very fun to share them with my kids next time and tell them "that was the childhood of your mum"..

*sob sob* nostalgic heh..

yesterday was a very fun day! met up with mojojojo (the remnants actually).. as well as most of the 3stanis yay! :)

now must meet up with the dearest girls! and of cos the man far away in taiwan :(

jia you peeps!!!! hang in there!!! the horrible battle will be over real soon! love all of you!

__pondering* 4:01 PM :)

Thursday, April 06, 2006

i can't believe it

this is the end of exams? or so i hope.. no vivas please.. or sups..

the end of camping at the little red table in the living room under the creaking fan..

living a monotonous life..

gettin so stressed that i am unable to sleep even though i go to bed..

and the thing is i dun even feel the stress consciously.. i just am unable to sleep..

but oh my goodness.. its all over!

girls! i miss you all!!! please, let us meet up soon!

i want to talk to you all!

and of cos.. i miss the man who's in taiwan now.. what a bad time.. but well absence makes the heart grow fonder.. :)

love all of you! and i hate exams!

__pondering* 11:14 AM :)