Saturday, February 11, 2006
i have met many friends who ask "i don't see what's the point of having a blog"
and then those skeptics around them will reply "aiyah, its just a tool to seek attention la.. they will deliberately write some controversial stuff and make everyone talk about them"
i beg to differ. i do not deny that some blogs are set up for that purpose, well, then they are just the black sheep that have dragged the rest down with them..
i think that blogs are avenues for people to express feelings that they can't express in words, face-to-face. it is a way to express your feelings when those feelings do not seem to fit into anywhere, any situation in real life. it is a way to let people understand you when it is hard to describe the reasons of your actions in real time. it allows you to be heard, when those sentences would have been interrupted by comments and rebuttals when they materialize verbally. it allows people to know what is going on in their friends' lives. some comments can serve as food for thought.. experiences from other people that we can learn and draw lessons from. incidents that serve as a reflection and let us think of what we want, and do not want, to be. most importantly, it allows some people to sort out the myraid of emotions entwined and swirling in their heads.. reconcile their emotions with reality, and come out with something constructive from the intangible mess within. of course there are cons.. but nvm, grab any skeptic and they can give you thousands. no need for more elaboration here.. haha.
oh my this seems like a gp entry.. i feel as though my gp skills have improved after i graduated from jc and have no real need for gp skills. seems like i am better able to think and see more sides of issues when i am not forced to do them academically. owellz.... :P
the past week has made me realise something that i always have an "idea" of, but never fully "realised".. i think i am rather unfeeling.. or maybe to put it correctly, i express certain emotions when there is no need to, and i do not express certain emotions when i am supposed to. i have no idea why i get all worked up over drama serials, but become cold and unfeeling when seemingly similar situations happen in real life.. sometimes, i wonder if i am capable of certain feelings. some feelings are just so hard to grasp and understand. i wonder if that is the most intense i am able to feel, or is there something further along the spectrum.. i wonder if the root of it all is that deep down, i am a very selfish person. and that leads me to question the path i have chosen. if i am selfish, then why have i chosen a path that requires me to look after the welfare of others? this is so wrong. seems like i'm tumbling down the wrong road. sometimes i think i understand myself more than how the rest understand themselves, but sometimes i find that i don't know myself at all. am i judging myself too harshly? or is there really something wrong? wish i could delve into the mind of others and experience the emotions they go through.. i am certain that would enable me to know what certain feelings feel like..
enough enough.. dun worry i'm not depressed.. just in a reflective mood.. have a great week ahead peeps.. and esp to wang, brother and my dearest 3stanis around me who are experiencing tough times.. when there's a shadow, it means that a source of light somewhere :) endure and you will find. love you all.
