Friday, January 27, 2006

today saw the conclusion of girls' inter-hall squash competition.. i guess i was really lucky throughout the competition, for i did not meet any very very tough opponent.. if not i would have died rather terribly given my "fine" state of fitness..

guess what, temasek hall won the champs! yay! i was the 5th player, and the score was 2 each when it was my turn to play.. surprisingly, i was not really nervous.. i guess the stone mentality i was in from all the waiting numbed all the suspense.. looking back, i think i have never ever been the 5th player.. cos i always told the coaches i would have stoned to death by then.. which was true today la.. eyes half open (as usual), yawning, lethargic, hungry.. haha..

inter-hall was great in the sense that it helped me make some new friends, and reinforce some friendships which i did not have a chance to in the past. thanks bro for being there to support! :) well, the crowd was not as huge as has been predicted, i guess cos the guys' finals have been postponed to wed.. in a way its good, cos there's less stress, but i guess i kind of miss the feeling of inter-school competitions.. the crowd cheering you on.. doing your best to not lt yourself, and your supporters down.. but well, i guess there's always chance in the future!

i think i am too tired.. blabbering nonsense now.. haha.. its the eve of cny eve! and boo. i'll be stuck in msia.. bah bah bah.. ringgit.. hokkien.. malay signboards on the road, dirty roads.. things foreign to me.. and yet become not so foreign when it is cny.. hmmmm.. what am i talking about..

shall sign off now.. i'm concussing. happy eve of cny eve!

__pondering* 11:38 PM :)

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

something i really need to learn comes from the quote that has been pinned up infront of me ever since sec 2..

"what separates woods from the 'boys' is his mental strength. when adversity strikes, he goes into his zone and does not allow anything to bother his next stroke routine."

seems like the older i get, the weaker my mental strength. when you keep your discipline in a sack and not use it for too long, it just sublimes into the thin air. i need to find that back again.

maybe it was the lack of sleep that caused my grumpiness yesterday, but well, no excuses. my attitude during the match was rather bad. and well i hope that will never happen again :)

i'm tired. and hoping for a reality that befits only dreams.

__pondering* 6:07 PM :)

the relationship between baorong and tabloids

Sunday, January 22, 2006

it suddenly struck me why i like to read the tabloids. it is not becuase i like to stick my nose into celebrities' private lives. it is because i need tabloids to bring me back to earth. to remind me that what i see on the tv/movie screens are fiction. they are man-made. they are not real. that in reality, some of the things i wish existed do not really exist. and that some things i hope do not exist really don't. yes, things like the moment when he holds your hand that can make the whole world spin around you while the 2 of you stay rooted to the ground. the moment whereby he only needs to cast a glance at you and you get overwhelmed by the rush of sweetness. all in all, the happily-ever-after. at least tabloids keep my drama fantasies in check. :)

__pondering* 11:25 PM :)

news..

recently, there have been quite a bit of news..

well, there was the report on how analyzing your 10 fingerprints can tell you about your learning style, abilities, strong points, weaknesses etc. the basis of it all is that the way your brain is structured and developed is imprinted in the whirl of grooves and twirls on the surface of your fingers. the reason why no 2 people have the same fingerprints is because everyone's brain develops differently. and even if you burnt off some part of the skin on your finger, the fingerprint you subsequently develop will be similar to the previous one you had, because your brain development is already final. apparently, the appearance of fingerprints and the development of the brain take place during the same period.. hmmm i think i'll have to ask the embrylogy teachers.

i guess this thing is somewhat like the "genetic fingerprinting" issue eh? fingerprinting can tell your prospective employers whether you have the ability or intrinsic talent for doing a certain job.. will that cause you a job that you really want, but do not have "talent" for? and if your fingerprint shows that you are not a smart person, you have to be hardworking to succeed.. will that cause you your confidence then? i guess the reason behind this development was a good one. the researchers wanted to use this to cater education according to different individuals' different needs, but didn't all the genetic research start off with noble purposes too? somehow, it is in human's nature to exploit. we have a knack for turning good things into bad things against us. bah.

then there is osama proposing a ceasefire to the US. and mind you, it is a conditional ceasefire. i wonder who was the one who started all these tragedies in the first place. he told bush something that went like this. : you don't have to be ashamed of agreeing to a ceasefire. it is not a matter of national pride. it is not because we do not have the ability to penetrate your national defences that we have not launched further attacks, our race is not one who forgives easily, if you do not agree to the ceasefire, wait and see ".. i forgot what were the exact words, but according to what i remembered, it went something like that. you will be a fool to believe osama. that guy who looks harmless on the outside, but is oozing deadly venom from all his orifices.

and then there was the fireman who died on duty. because of an accident at a cross junction. the fire engine was speeding across the junction when it crashed head-on with an oncoming car and overturned, killing 1 fireman and injuring a few others. the newspaper did not report explicitly whether the fire engine was speeding across the junction when the traffic light was red, or that the oncoming car was "at fault".. but i suspect the earlier was the case. sigh. traffic is unpredictable isn't it? observing traffic rules could get you into an accident too. i'm sure the victims of fire would rather the fire engine arrive later, than never arrive at all. who could have known where the fire engine was heading towards, which way it was going to go next? of course, we civilians should give way when we can, but what draws the line that differentiates dangerous driving and heeding the call of duty?

yesterday i was really pissed with my sister's maths teacher. please. imagine asking your students to attempt doing something before it is even taught. fancy asking them to express their answers using set notation when they do not have the sightest inkling as to what a "set" is. Add maths is a vey conceptual subject. grasp the concept and it will be easy. if not, happy new year to you then. i wonder what the teacher has been teaching the class. my sister comes back not knowing anything that has been taught. so does the rest of her class. and i wonder what her prevous teachers have been teaching her too. i do not know how she has gotten through sec 2's algebraic equations without knowing what the "root" of an equation means. or even what a "quadratic equation" means. goodness. what is the world coming to? how do you expect to nurture a future generation of elites when the standard of teachers leaves much to be desired?
i think that a certain agency has been giving out scholarships too easily. nowadays, many of the people who are supposed to be moulding the future generation are not doing so because they want to, but because they have no other way to go. they need the scholarship. of course, you can say that many of us are not really doing what we really want to, but well, at least we make sure we try to do our best. i wonder what these heck of a teacher are doing in school. i might as well take my sister out of school and hire a private tutor if she learns nothing in school. i have a good mind to sit in during lesson and observe how the teacher "teaches", if you can even call what he is doing in class "teaching". or perhaps write a letter to complain. oh, but i'm afraid that given his standard, he'll have problems understanding what i'm writing about in the letter. hmph.

enough about teachers. hmph. well today's chinese papers have this interesting article on the experiences of a well-to-do pampered guy who landed himself in prison for 5 weeks because he drove though his license was revoked. it was really intriguing. how the first day of prison was meant to make you submit yourself to all the regimentation within prison, no matter how impudent and rebellious you had been outside. how prison can change you to become a law-abiding citizen due to fear.. food for thought.

well, the smu tournament has come to an end at last. poof. been a tiring week. ivp, then this tournament, then inter hall and inter faculty coming up. *snores* haha..

take care peeps and tata for now! :)

__pondering* 10:54 AM :)

what if...

Monday, January 16, 2006

listening to group therapy on daniel ong's show now..

this woman has an affair at her workplace, and she has a nice sweet hubby at home.. what should she do?

and daniel ong raised an interesting question.

does having an affair mean you do not love your partner?

well.. is it possible to love 2 people at the same time? and i do not mean loving your father and mother at the same time.

is it possible to love 2 people for the different things they do and the different people they are?

if that is the case, then how is it possible to judge who you love more?

i think most affairs are matters of proximity. since people spend most of their times in the office, and of course, everyone wants to feel special, have that "special" someone to perhaps make themselves feel.. er.. wanted? popular? there goes, the perfect breeding ground for office affairs.

many affairs are sweet and thrilling by the very fact that they are affairs. secrets. the thought of these secret rendezvous is enough to make the adrenaline overflow, and when you successfully get over with it, you feel even better.

i think most people hop from relationship to relationship because they are always in search of the sweet, passionate, heart-skipping, over the moon feelings that overwhelm them when they are in the honey-moon stage of a relationship.. but as time progresses, there are things you begin to take for granted, and those intense feelings are not there anymore.. and you begin to think that things have gone stale.. but it is not..

i am beginning to understand a sentence i came across a long time ago.. it says something about.. at the beginning of a relationship, you feel obsession, when the passion burns and everything seems so perfect.. then it progresses to xxxxsomething i can't remember.. but somewhere along the line, it becomes companionship..

love can't be passionate all the time. love comes with acceptance. love comes from all the simple things you do everyday.. no one knows what is love..

do you believe in horoscopes? i kind of believe them, but i am not dependent of course.. it says that libras cannot live without love. take away their love, take away the meaning in their lives. i tend to agree.. there are many other things that they say.. but i can't remember them now.. but i can recall how surprised i was at how the horoscope reflected my personality.

what if you found out you have terminal cancer..

will you tell the person you love?

or will you run away from him,
perhaps give some reason to break his heart, make him forget about you and then you die off miserably in one corner?

or will you staY by his side, yet keep mum about your condition?

of all these solutions, i think running away is the most foolish of all. it is just utterly stupid to do these kind of things.. maybe i am just not noble enough to sacrifice myself and spare the person i love the agony.

what will you do?

__pondering* 6:29 PM :)

back to school!

Monday, January 09, 2006

wow.. its the first day of school :)

back to:
lectures that don't make much sense..

madly copying notes that the lecturer said

queuing up for toilet cubicles during short precious breaks

trying hard not to stone and switch off when lecture gets too.. ****

impending tutorials

impending formalin overdose

first anat session with prof ling.. (hope he wun be too hard on us.. i seriously haven't read anything.. i heard from the rest its quite stressful cos u really have to read up and know your stuff..)

seeing my favourite people again! 3stans!

gossiping :)

anat grp outings after school
like today.. went to queensway to advise alvin on which racket to buy.. then we went to ikea for anat grp lunch.. the potato is so ex!! bah!!! 3 small stones of kantang for $2.. really squeeze moo-lah from people! then we headed over to emily's house.. a beautiful house! but well.. i had a really traumatic time trying to park my car up that narrow slot up the slope.. goodness.. heh.. with friends ard trying to give advise.. haha.. and then my car just kept rolling fwd cos it was on a slope.. and i was too scared to step hard on the accelerator for fear that the car might zoom backwards and crash into the wall behind.. after like 15 mins.. finally the car went into the slot, albeit not too nicely.. haha.. :) had to leave early though while the rest continued watching emily rose.. but it was really fun telling all those racist stupid jokes, imitating hon's "peace" sign with suriya's add-on comic effect, idling ard, seeing everyone again.. :) life is never too boring when you are with great company..

tml's victory lunch! hooray! gonna be a fun time with the squashers! wonder how ricetable will be like.. :) definitely lookin fwd to that! too bad we dun have a challange trophy that we can all drink from.. it'd definitely be cool to continue the tradition we started since sec sch inter-sch!

ciao peeps! have an enjoyable week ahead! schnappi rocks!

__pondering* 6:01 PM :)

pics from jess' blog :)

Sunday, January 08, 2006

mich, jess, bx and i headed to holland v for a very very late dinner after the first match agst smu.. and well.. we took some pics in the car while waiting for a lot! :)

nus girls and boys!!

speak, smell, see, hear no evil!!!

acting cute!

rgsquash power!!!!!!

mich, jess, me!

the team (incomplete though..)

nus and ntu :)

nus and hong kong polyu:)

__pondering* 8:44 PM :)

and its back to school..

wow.. i can't believe time passes so fast.. first its the brand new year.. next, its already the start of a brand new semester.. i can't believe i have survived through half of 1st year of medical school.. but well.. there's the second half to go through now..

it isn't as scary to think of going back to school now as compared to the previous "pending first day of school".. at least now i'm in a familiar environment, seeing familiar faces, doing something familiar.. but to think about it.. actually its not that familiar after all.. the subjects are going to be more challenging.. it is going to get more stressful as the final year looms nearer.. the exams, with those alien-looking questions which demand 5 ball-point pens' worth of answers are beginning to freak me out.. and of course, i worry about being able to juggle my time well.. balancing work, play, socializing, caring for people around me, doing things to enrich myself, relax, squash..

and of course, i am so reluctant to leave my warm cosy bed at the unearthly time of 6am, which is 4 hours earlier than usual..

i have been spending a lot of time with mum this hols.. and I am feeling very happy about it.. its just nice to be around her, talk crap with her, just be in her presence.. accompany her to the market..

but on a lighter note, it is going to be chinese new year soon!! hooray! the marketplace is basking with this festive spirit.. new year songs playing, a sea of red all around.. posters, lanterns, colourful flowers, vases, stickers, chun lian, new year goodies.. every other day, my mum returns home from the market and shows me the cute creative ang bao packets she bought from some stall.. i must say that people are getting more creative nowadays! but sadly, i think cny and many of the traditional festivals will not be so widely celebrated now.. i don't even think i will remember to pray to my ancestors, burn paper money for them during the 7th month, burn incense, eat dumpling yadayada.. maybe eat dumpling yes.. cos commercialized society will make use of any "festival" to burn a hole in consumers' pockets..

but yep.. all i have to conclude is.. i don't want to go back to school..! whine.. wo bu yao zhang da!!!

__pondering* 8:13 PM :)

::: ugly :::

Saturday, January 07, 2006

what wonderful and powerful lyrics..

ugly - sugarbabes

When I was 7
They said I was strange
I noticed that my eyes and hair weren't the same
I asked my parents if I was OK
They said you're more beautiful
And that's the way they show they wish

They had your smile
So my confidence was up for a while
I got real comfortable with my own style
I knew that they were only jealous cos

People are all the same
And we only get judged by what we do
My personality reflects me
And if I'm ugly then
So are you
So are you

There was a time when I felt like I cared
That I was shorter than everyone there
People made me feel like life was unfair
And I did things that made me ashamed
Cos I didn't know my body would change
I grew taller than them in more ways
But there will always be the one who will say
Something bad to make them feel great

People are all the same
And we only get judged by what we do
My personality reflects me
And if I'm ugly then
So are you
So are you

Everybody talks bad about somebody
And never realises how it affects somebody
And you bet it won't be forgotten
Envy is the only thing it could be

__pondering* 10:04 AM :)

squash..

Friday, January 06, 2006

wow.. the past 3 days have been fun.. haven't felt the adrenaline rush for ages.. the thrill and fear of being in a competition.. of knowing that your every shot counts toward the win or loss of a larger organization.. i guess ivp isn't inter-school ultimately.. i was recalling the past inter-school competitions.. and the one image that never fails to resurface is that of julia playing.. all of us outside holding each others' hands.. telling ourselves to have faith.. faith in our training, our hardwork, our drive, our team mate.. and the ecstasy and joy and crazy surge of emotion when we won mgs in our c div.. jumping screaming crying running around kallang squash courts, unable to believe we finally did it..

and of course, there were the many other competitions.. always against mgs.. always very exciting matches.. but i guess why the c division finals stuck in my mind is because it was our first taste of success.. the first time we felt saw the result of our hardwork and faith materialise before our eyes.. the thrill of beating the very people who thrashed our seniors and avenging them.. of upsetting the coach who didn't think very much of us..( maybe he did and i'm just biased)..

i guess jc inter school wasn't as great.. the team was split up.. the bond and comarderie we have forged with one another were gone.. it is indeed true that happiness multiply as you divide it among more people.. even though the team comprised the same number of people, i guess our spirits were not as united.. as such, the joy wasn't all that overwhelming..

anyway.. yesh.. ivp drew to a close as we await the beginning of a new semester of hardwork and craziness.. 2 more squash competitions coming up.. many things i have to work on.. and many more things to test my mental..

i feel that i am not as disciplined and determined as before.. all these breaks have made me weak mentally.. i think squash has a big part to play in moulding the way i think.. i think all squashies will agree with that. yes.. i should start setting goals.. shud really start to sit down and think about what i want.. and then really work on it..

and talking about goals.. i admire baoxin for her courage :) you are a brave girl dearest.. i wish you success.. what matters is not the destination.. it is the courage to actually sort out your dreams, and pluck out the courage to embark on the path toward what you want. i don't have that sort of courage.. and i really respect you for that :)

thanks to suriya.. :) my new year resolution shall be to stop making excuses! so anytime you guys hear me doing exactly the opposite.. please bang me hard on the head! :)

happy 2006 to everyone!

__pondering* 11:43 AM :)

my beautiful cute little mum posing! :) look at that brilliant pose! (caught when she was watching tv)

__pondering* 11:42 AM :)

my cute mum posing with the nus jacket and cap! :) she's a natural :)

__pondering* 11:39 AM :)

dad being bullied by us when we stuffed a pillow into his shirt to teach him how being pregnant feels like :)

__pondering* 11:37 AM :)

nervous

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

i know when i am getting the jitterbugs when the toilet seems to be my second home..

__pondering* 3:32 PM :)

things i do when i am bored.. (thanks to nessie's blog)

You're a Playful Kisser

Kissing is a huge game for you, a way to flirt and playYou're the first one to suggest playing spin the bottle at a partyOr you'll go for the wild kiss during a game of truth or dareAnd you're up for kissing any sexy stranger if the mood is right!

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

issit?

You fit in with:
Spiritualism

Your ideals are mostly spiritual, but in an individualistic way. While spirituality is very important in your life, organized religion itself may not be for you. It is best for you to seek these things on your own terms.

40% spiritual.
40% reason-oriented.

http://www.quizgalaxy.com/result_images/bg-map.jpg">

Take'>http://www.quizgalaxy.com/quiz.php?id=47">Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

true true!!

baorong's secret lucky charm is:

QuizGalaxy.com!

"A long love letter which you wrote to yourself"

Take'>http://www.quizgalaxy.com/quiz.php?id=69">Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

erpssss.. wow.. maybe i shud try doing this to get lucky..

The Picto-Personality Test

You are a person who lives in the moment and is passionate about whatever and whoever you love.

When alone, you like to spend your time doing something that will better yourself.

You are romantic, and when you are with your partner you like to woo them with your imagination.

In the future you will be happy and live richly.

Take'>http://www.quizgalaxy.com/quiz.php?id=71">Take this Test at

__pondering* 3:15 PM :)