Wednesday, July 20, 2005
hihi!! i just finished catching up on the lives of my darling girls.. its so late now! well.. make everything quick.. i shall have a more detailed entry soon!
bangkok was SUPERB!! haha.. i enjoyed all the private super hilarious conversations the 3 of us shared.. haha.. project F, project RJ.. targets, identities.. project F accelerating at exponential rate till infinity in the absence of some reactant.. haha.. our baring of souls during the airplane flights.. watching out for each other, having fun with betty's uneven luggage wheels, squeezing in tuk tuks, laughing and laughing.. shopping together.. waiting for each other, bargaining, advising each other on beauty stuff.. dressing up together.. being late together, being early together, eating that WONDERFUL buffet breakfast and talking and shitting, watching volleyball and admiring ppl's legs, spotting and staring at trans, gossiping, taking funny pictures, talking talking talking having lots of funnnn, and i still can't forget how betty shocked the plane with her exclaimation when the plane touched down.. you know changi is so high class and elegant right.. but the little cabins out at the runway are so laopok and run down they look like they're some atap houses in msia.. so when the plane landed, betty got damn shocked and starting 'screaming' "this is not singapore! this is not singapore!!!" and she woke weijie in the other seat and he got dem freaked too.. ppl in the plane were turning to look at us and wondering whether what she said was true.. worried looks on their faces.. then imagine how maluating it was when the plane cruised further and we saw the majestic building of terminal 1.. haha.. we were laughing like hell lo.. all in all.. travelling with friends is really a good experience.. :) you travel without inhibitions.. you get wild and crazy.. you try things that you dun do with your parents.. you basically have a wild fun time.. :) i love my girls..
today had relief in rj.. wanted to die la.. was sleeping while they did their mock spa.. haha.. talked to dr chan for 1 hour.. he's a very knowledgable person despite his clown actions.. talked about intellectual stuff.. like learning, knowledge, society, love, life.. he said that the ultimate purpose in life is to know yourself better.. and that humans have access to their own emotions and feelings, but we can't see ourselves from the outside, while we can see people from the outside but we have no way of knowing how they feel, so the greatest challenge is to be able to link these 2 aspects together.. to be able to see yourself from the outside by linking what you feel with what you see from others.. so in the process you get to know yourself better.. and.. love eventually becomes a kind of responsibility.. sigh.. how sad is that.. and we were watching guang liang's tong hua mtv on his labtop.. he's super funky la! i enjoy talking to him cos its really stimulating.. and we took very funny pictures.. really very funny.. haha.. shall post them soon..
after that i rushed to NUS to help in the rag.. we're making this "float" thing.. and our OG is in charge of making this mega watermelon.. its hard work trying to saw wood, drill holes, screw stuff, tie wire meshes.. but we had tonnes of fun in the process.. very fun working on that.. haha.. and then charmaine (xena), eugene (jiemei), ibrahim (papabra), shariff (booby), and me (grandma bao) went to gelare at holland v and sat there talking and chilling and having fun till 10.30.. and of cos we took very nice pictures too... :)
i've come to realise that you can't push friendships initially.. singapore is not a place where you can foster instant noodle friendships like what betty said.. so i guess this period is actually a time for you to hang around different types of people, judge for yourself whether you enjoy their company, get to know more people.. eventually, people of the "right kind" will just stick around through the years.. there's no need to make deliberate attempts to stick to this group or that group.. just be natural and you'll just belong to a group you're comfortable in i guess.. at least that's what i hope.. so for now, i'm just gonna enjoy the company of the fabulous people in my og.. fostering lasting and true friendships in a totally new aspect of life where i have no old friends with me is a daunting experience.. makes me a bit skeptical and nervous at times.. i can only tell myself to just be myself.. to let things progress naturally.. see where it leads me to.. hopefully its somewhere good with fantastic company.. i may seem crazy and wild on the outside.. but there's a huge undercurrent within me.. many emotions stirring.. i have my many insecurities.. my anxieties, my doubts, my fears.. i really wish that i'll also find true friends in my fac.. one again, time is the greatest enemy, for time is the one that contains all the answers to my questions..
jessica my dear.. i feel very sad after reading your blog.. i can understand how you feel.. sigh.. cheer up k.. nothing i say wil make you feel better, buut do try hard to think of the bright side.. life is what YOU make it to be.. if fate gives you durians, make durian shakes.. focus on things you can control, like making an effort to aquaint yourself with your new fac mates so that you wun feel so lost and depressed when school starts.. :) i know its hard to break out of your comfort zone.. but well, i believe that everything will turn out fine eventually.. being in dif facs might actually be a blessing in disguise.. only time can tell.. have faith, just like how you have faith in your religion.. but i guess in the end, all i'm trying to say is, fate has dealt you that card, its up to you to make that card a winning chip, or destroy the whole game.. jia you jessica! i love you and i want the best for you :)
