Wednesday, June 15, 2005
what's "living with passion", i wonder.. i always think that its impossible for someone to really cherish life and live it fully unless you know that your days are going to be over soon. there are just so many things that we take for granted. there are also many things that require patience, that cannot be rushed into or out of. i am pretty certain that i'll be too impulsive and do many wrong things if i just live doing whatever i want to, ie living fully. because sometimes, what the heart wants might not be approved by the mind, and more often than not, the heart works mightily faster than the mind.
i think that hypnosis is such a fun thing.. and yet i have my qualms about it. because the hypnotist will discover so many things about me.. secrets that i wish to hide, and more scarily, things that i do not even know myself. but all in all, i think hypnosis is really cool.. and i marvel at how it works..
tues squash with pong hp and bx was really fun.. the feeling of playing triple and thrashing pong was exhilirating :) haha.. the chilling out..
watched mr and mrs smith with ed today.. the show leaves me breathless.. they're both so hot and sexy! there's not doubt about that chemistry between them. the screen just fizzles right through man! and the plot is cool and sweet.. edward can't stop gushing.. quote him "there should only be one material for women's clothes: leather. cos its so mrs smith!".. haha! we went shopping round jurong point.. he's such a nice shopping buddy!! so patient and nice.. doesn't mind waiting while i take ages to change or look at girly stuff.. haha.. and the extent of his gushing was so bad, his only judgement for clothes was "this looks very mrs smith. you should wear that!".. haha! and he went ont daydreaming.. "if mr smith doesn't want mrs smith, i hope he will tell me, i surely want her." haha! i was so tickled! its really fun to talk to him.. not bad.. i achieved quite a bit of shopping, thanks for his company! settled the social nite stuff.. and we bought nice surprises for people.. :) cute little stuff.. that they'll find out on saturday :) heeheehee..
but anyway, the channel 8 show left me thinking about what i hope my life will be 20-30 years later.. that suddenly reminds me of our conversation with pong.. we were watching his parents' golden wedding, and his wedding, on video.. *gush gush melt melt* and yeah, we decided in jest that my husband will be a young, dashing, charming Catholic doctor.. haha.. catholic cos i'm crazily in love with a church wedding!! it makes everything so grand and majestic! haha! but of cos i wun convert! and also because a devout catholic boy will be bound by the doctrine of his religion.. must be faithful to his wife.. cannot divorce.. oh my.. and i'm pretty sure a good catholic boy will be good to his wife.. haha! pong was teasing..
[guy proposes]: will you marry me?
[me]: yes i will , but not until you become a catholic!
enough about young dashing catholic doctors.. a military wedding will be very very very nice too! imagine all the swords! aaahhh.. but any wedding will be nice.. but well, i'm dreaming that mine will be sweet and unconventional though.. haha..
anyway, back to the topic of the future.. gettin married will be at 25/26.. haha.. i have my life planned out man.. first kid at 31, 2nd at 33, 3rd at 35.. i'll enjoy at least 5-6 years of er ren shi jie!! hopefully my first child will be a boy! its always been my wish to have an elder brother! that means i have to get married after i graduate from NUS.. hhhmmmm.. i dunno how i can specialise and have kids at the same time.. but i'll try!!
in 20 years time i will be 39.. by then hopefully i have my husband, my 3 kids.. and i will be a psychiatrist, neurosurgeon, or some pro in the A&E department.. (woohoo!!).. living comfortably..(that means don't have to be rich.. just confortable.. ) hopefully not in some ulu bungalow or terrace or semi d on some overpriced land.. and my husband and i will be as loving as ever even though we have been married for 14 years.. :) and my kids will be happy and lively and live in love and harmony in a home where they know that their parents love them as much as they love each other.. a cosy family where conversations are easy and humourous.. and there's laughter everywhere..
30 years later.. that means when i'm 49.. i will still work.. but pay more attention to my youngsters cos its their teenage years.. my husband and i will still go on dates.. *melts* and i will go shopping with my daughters and sons.. i will be a funky open minded mum who gives them their space, and yet not lose touch with them.. actually i think my plan's a little screwed up.. when i'm 49, my oldest kid will only be 18!!! my youngest 14!!! oh my!!! i'm such an old mum!! ok.. i gotta rethink my plan.. bah.
but anyway.. continue.. at 55, i hope i can retire happily and go globe-trotting with my husband.. extension of our honeymoon.. go to europe.. america.. antarctica.. alaska.. nepal.. ooooo... and then go volunteer at medicins sans frontiers.. and then get ready to attend my children's wedding!!
when i'm 76, hopefully my husband and i will still be alive and kicking.. we'll be happily volunteering for medicines without borders or any charitable organization.. our children will be useful adults.. contributing to society.. hopefully we will have grandkids to play with and tell our stories to.. and my husband and i will be married for.. 50 years! let's pray that our kids will be sweet enough to so something spectacular for our 50th wedding anniversary.. heh.. like how pong's family held another "wedding" for his parents on their 50th wedding anniv.. :)
and having said all that.. i think i will die without regrets.. peacefully.. aaaahhh..
im sorry.. dreaming far too much.. *grin* but dreams do keep people alive.. dreams are fuels for the soul.. it fires imagination and keeps the passion burning.. i wish there's this machine that can capture every nice image that passes through my mind.. i think everyone's images will be a little custom-made paradise on earth. wouldn't it be nice? =)
