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baorong
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unfeeling creature
Monday, April 04, 2005

lately
been feeling unfeeling
it's confusing..
been wondering
about many possibilities..
treading aimlessly
thinking
as humans, we are never free
physical freedom is of secondary importance
if we can't be free within
humans are always bound by chains
from your conscience and some intangible "moral law"
in this intricate web of human relationships
you never know what you're gonna get
will what i do today
affect something tomorrow
or anything in the future
history is just like a river
it is affected by things from yesteryears
and its imminent course is nonetheless
modified by what happens today
making decisions and resolutions are tough
somethings are right
and are also wrong
somethings can't be determined
is life short
or is it long
if life is short
should we just live it to the fullest
and what if living life to the fullest
means encroaching on others' happiness
means not being morally right
humans are ultimately not free beings
i don't want any responsibility

rambling rambling..
i'm nursing a swollen right eye.. looks like i've got an ultra big eye bag on my right.. scary.. just as i was watching turn left turn right yesterday, i suddenly felt something ballooning beneath my right eye, and in the short period of 15 mins, my eye swelled.. haha.. doc said its some inflammation.. the eye drop hurts.. do i have that much bacteria in my eye? haha..

__pondering* 3:01 PM :)