Saturday, April 23, 2005
met the darling 25ths today (25th refers to the newly elected councillors).. they are so cute.. its their coucil camp (ie tekan camp).. and we all went back to talk to them.. or rather, some of us talked, while the rest of us just posed there.. haha.. time passes so fast (this is the which time i'm repeating that phrase?!).. just thought of how fast we grow.. when we are in secondary school, most of us tend to do things on impulse, never thinking far ahead and contemplating what consequences our decisions might bring us.. we just do things because we like it, we want to do it, it is fun, everyone's doing it.. but we don't think about whether that activity will be useful to us.. if i had known, i would have chosen to do some things differently.. but well, i am still grateful for the way things have turned out now.. :) it is in jc that you start to think seriously and hard, and map out your future, and that is when you start regretting some of your previous decisions, for it is only when you reflect thoroughly that you realise you have actually given many opportunities for you to develop a miss..
had the first "real" talk with karen today.. it's such a pity that i dun really talk "deep" with many councillors.. but that's life.. some friends are like dust, sprinkled over your path, while the others are mountains, rooted there.. (like all those i've known for.. let me see.. 6, 10, or 11 years!).. yep.. i have not discovered this mature side of karen before.. talked about relationships.. the subject matter was so apt and relevant.. indeed, what are our relationships based on now? bgr i mean.. in the past, it was school, school provided many of us with the time to interact and communicate, create many memories that bonded us close together.. but now, the guys are in ns, and in the near future, we are all gonna go our separate ways in uni.. so what forms the basis of the relationship now? the time factor is definitely not there.. the shared experiences are not there too.. what is left? both of us wonder.. adult relationships are really so different from this kind of student relationships.. cos as adults, you have so many more committments, and so much less time to spend together (unless you are classmates or colleagues).. i sometimes daydream about how adults share their lives together.. i can't imagine going through courtship with just a few smses a day, short phonecalls at night when you are free, occasional dinners.. and then this carries on for a few years, and suddenly, you guys are gonna get married! perhaps its because im too used to spending so much time together that this kind of "minimal" contact seems ridiculous to me.. haha.. but ya, we both agree that this is a hard transition period between being a student, and a non-student. your perspective changes, the whole world seems to shift to a different scale.. suddenly, something dawns upon you and you start to see things from a viewpoint you never knew existed..
karen asked me.. do i think that our relationship will last forever, not just emotionally, but also practically.. i guess nobody knows.. no one knows how our future paths will be.. whether they will be intersecting, or they will diverge greatly.. no one knows how people will change after army, uni, and work.. if your aims are no longer complementary, then there is no use hanging on.. emotionally, i'm sure everyone hopes for their relationship to last forever, who wants to experience heartbreak? but practically, you never know whether something will work out in the future.. it might work out today, but suddenly a psychological earthquake changes, everything shifts, and things might not work out tomorrow.. aaahhh.. i really enjoyed talking to her.. she awakened many thoughts in me.. some abstract thoughts inside me that could not be expressed in words, but are fluently put into words by her.. talking is such a great past time.. :)
