Tuesday, February 22, 2005
hi peeps.. i never never ever want to be a teacher! at least not in a neighbourhood school.. i think i can never complain enough.. ok.. perhaps i shall start by saying that its only the second day, and i already lost my voice.. or rather, my voice was already gone yesterday.. today, my classes kept laughing at me (in a very RUDE way) cos my voice kept squeaking and screeching.. i'm quite embarrassed, but couldn't care less.. it is horrible! terrible! death-provoking! i'm teaching predominantly normal academic and normal technical classes.. oh man.. i LOVE them to bits! literally to bits! i just wish i could tear some of the students apart! god bless! esp today.. there's this guy.. i just wished i could claw at his face and disfigure it.. wang.. u asked me to imagine a disgusting face yest and i couldn't.. well today i found one perfectly disgusting face! its disgusting not because he's ugly.. but because of that.. stupid look or smirk or arrogance or defiance or whatever you call it he wears on his face! oh man! u can't imagine it! this fat chubby fair chinese disgusting boy's face.. with that stupid smirk.. when i told him to keep quiet, he talked even louder. asked him not to laugh, he just kept laughing. told him to wipe off that stupid look from him face, and he smirked even more to me and his friends! he did so many irritating things in class! like whisper things about me to his friends right in front of my face! talk back to me, talk bad about me in a voice loud enough to be heard by me.. throwing and catching bottle caps in the middle of class.. oh man! the classes are like bunches of monkeys! worse than kindergarten kids! most of the time, i was talking to myself.. i just keep repeating the important points of the topics over and over, like over 5 times.. and in the end, they dunno anything at all! why? cos they were not listening! in a class of 30+ 40+, i can only find 3 whose eyes are on me. and when i try to ask those 3 questions, they cannot answer at all! i was so desperate! i recited the answer to them, then asked the question in exactly the same way, and they couldn't answer.. its something like.. "class, remember that the mouth digests starch using amylase".. "ok, now tell me, the mouth digests what using amylase?" .. oh man, they can tell me things like stomach, intestines.. i was on the verge of vomitting blood.. as i painstakingly write down the important things on the board, no one was listening to me.. they were talking so loudly, playing, flirting, sleeping.. there were two boys sitting right in front of me.. one boy kept saying "you're so childish!" to the other boy, and the other boy would retort "you then childish!" and this conversation went back and forth for as long as i could remember! i wanted to shout at them and tell them they are both childish! was teaching digestion, and the class just kept forcing me to say shit.. kept asking me what was faeces.. so i asked them which part of your digestive system can digest food, they replied "anus".. i went "wow! i didn't know that! maybe you can put food at your anus and digest it to let me see".. then some idiot told me that faeces is stored in your stomach when i told them a thousand times that it is stored in the rectum.. i wanted to strangle him and tell him that his faeces is in his mouth! ok i sound very vulgar.. but all these took place in my mind.. can't spew these rude stuff when i'm a teacher.. there are so many other wu nai things that took place! i tell you.. the 65 bucks are not easy.. can die. the culture there is so different! when the teacher talks, they don't listen! the teacher screams at them, they talk even louder to cover the teacher's screams.. teacher teaches things, they still talk, teacher give them homework, they don't care, then one by one put up their hands and ask u to repeat.. teacher give them answers, and repeats them so many times, they don't listen or copy, then when i collect the papers back, most of the things are either unmarked, or marked wrongly.. i dinnoe the ovaries produces sperms, and the epididymis produces eggs.. and that ovulation mean giving birth, or producing sperms! and when a girl reaches puberty, dirty blood appears and her voice breaks! tell then the answers they still can mark wrongly.. wah really can give up.. actually i already gave up.. the classes are so rowdy and recalcitrant i dun wanna bother with them anymore.. now in class, i just go about my own business.. i teach everything i have to cover in that lesson.. they want to talk, they talk, they want to listen they listen. they wanna copy down answers they copy, they dun wan to its their own business.. their future is theirs, i have no share in their joy or sorrow.. even the sec 4 classes! n levels and o levels are so near! siying and i baby sat this sec 4 class.. oh gosh.. in rg.. everyone would use whatever free time to mug and chiong homework and read.. but for them! they just sit down there and be clowns and talk! the guys will ka jiao the girls, then the girls will whine, then chase the guys round the room.. wow! some of the guys there are really flirts! keep asking "miss tan! what is your number! give me your number!".. walked past one class, then this guy shouted from in side the classroom "eh teacher! gimme your number la!" wah biang.. vomit blood.. their antics.. ok like i said, i can't stop complaining.. its really bad.. nvm.. let me talk abt something better... :)
went out with wang yesterday! well.. though we only met for like.. 2 and a half hours, i was already happy.. like wad i told the classes, time is relative.. those 8 days spent not seeing him seemed like eternity.. missed him.. miss him.. missing him.. he put on 2 kg.. so now he's "proudly" back to 52 kg!!! wow!!! *sacarstic* heh.. still lighter than me! bah.. but nvm.. hee.. two hours were short.. but to be able to feel his hand in mine made that two hours heavenly.. he gave me this little box filled with happiness quotes.. :) i was so delighted.. *grin* to my dearest little wang.. you did not just give me a little bit of happiness.. you gave me a whole heaven of it.. :)
happiness quote of the day "if you want to be happy, just be!"
bx.. i hope you find your happiness.. i would do anything i can just to give you that little bit of joy.. i wish i could be part of your joy, but most of all, i hope you find joy that is wholly yours.. jia you.. all of us are here for you.. *hugs*
